late nights, bright lights

[Welcome to journal entry # 9oo.]

I was out last night with Marianne, Ryan and Peter and we got to talking about how people seem to create drama for fun, profit and probably spite.

Mari and Peter are having huge issues with one of their roommates and her hellion cat, so we discussed that. Then we talked about their other roommate and how he's bizarre (he works with us, so I actually know him). Apparently he's just misunderstood. *shifty eyes*

Then Peter made an unfortunate comment about a guy who Mari and I both... Know. It was a very head+desk scenario. That guy is the reason I look around when I'm alone sometimes and just say, out loud, 'fuck am I ever dumb,' or 'clearly I have made some bad decisions'.

I won't say my decisions in that forum have been stellar since then (oy), but wheeeeeeew! *unintelligible noises of self loathing go here*

Ever look back on your life and have that single moment of 'why did I do/say/think that!?' No matter how far I go in life, where I end up, what I experience, I'll look back on that decision as one of the worst I could have made.

Depressing for a bright and slightly foggy Saturday morning, but that's the way my partially brain dead cookie crumbles.

PS, note to self: Say 'oy' more. Also, note to self again: Another first for me proves that I am clearly superior. And yeah, I'm a bad person for thinking it, and yeah, the better person for the job always scores it in the end (as it should be; less responsibility for me), but hell if it doesn't make me feel great for at least not finishing dead last every time.

In no particular order, here are twenty five facts about me! I came up with them all by myself, so I am celebrating with the George icon. BRAVO!


25; I didn't have a real nickname until I was nineteen. Almost two decades without a ridiculous nickname, and then I got saddled with one. Lousy frickin' frackin'... *mutters*

24; I'm addicted to the internet. It's where my permanent address should be located at. They tell me that's not quite possible yet. ("You can't live in an IP address, where would you put your bed?")

23; My cat is named McLovin' and he is probably Satan. I mean, I guess I'm not sure, but until I can come up with a blood analysis test to prove it, we'll have to stick with 'probably'.

22; I can touch my nose with my tongue. Don't make me prove it.

21; I love bats. Bats are awesome. I want to befriend the bats and lived in their colonies. But I don't want to have to eat bugs, so maybe I'll study them instead. Echolocation is fascinating (and I want to find out how they taught the bears to do use it).

2o; When I was younger, all I wanted to be was a part time librarian slash part time ballerina. Think about it. Would it not have been the best job ever? And think of the awesome dress code!

19; For a while there, I wanted to legally change my name to Truly Scrumptious. Forty points if you can tell me where I plagiarized that from.

18; First song to ever make me cry while listening to it: Javert's Suicide, from Les Miserables. I still always

17; Clearly, I have made some bad decisions.

16; I can make bread from scratch. And it's damn good. But I don't, because I don't like the hard manual labour of creation. I'd rather nap. And we don't have the counter space.

15; I like gluing stuff to other stuff as part of a regimented daily intake schedule of being destructive in little ways.

14; Alignment: Chaotic good. Or, if you'd prefer: chaotic AWESOME.

13; I work in an inbound call centre. I talk for a living. A meager living, mind, but still a living.

12; Sharks terrify me. Even though I'm almost a jillion miles from an ocean. I live in an almost constant, numbing fear. Yes, I know it's irrational, but that doesn't make it less scary.

... Stop laughing.

11; They say I have a problem with time. Specifically, I keep track of it in an almost obsessive compulsive sort of way. I'm sorry if that weirds anyone out.

1o; I want to own wolfhounds one day.

o9; Competition annoys me. Yes, I know that's a horrible evolutionary standpoint.

o8; I mentioned my alignment somewhere up there, so let me tell you a little about that. Yes, I game. Tabletop, pencil and paper game. Dungeons and Dragons specifically. But not in the creepy way. I play maybe twice a month, and I'm one of the lucky ones who realizes it's only a game and that I probably shouldn't sacrifice the cat (though if he eats my headphones one more time, he might be paper shredder bait anyways. Damn you McLovin').

o7; I currently waste part of my life reading eight different webcomics every week. EIGHT. I don't think I could stop if I tried.

o6; I write letters. A lot. But I rarely send them. Chances are, if we've met, there's a letter with your name on it somewhere. It's ever so cathartic.

o5; I don't have a plan for my life. I have come to realize this recently. I have no idea where I want to end up, or even how I plan to get there. I know I want each day to teach me something. I want to laugh every day and I want to go to sleep every night (or morning) knowing that I squeezed enough out of that day to make it count. Maybe I want to share that with someone, maybe I don't. Maybe I want to be rich, or maybe I don't. Maybe I'll travel, maybe I'll find a place to settle and never leave. All I know for sure is I need a little adventure and a dash of awe in every day and I'm going to write about it in my journal.

o4; I'm afraid of: zombies (if only for their superior numbers), sustaining major head trauma, cutting my fingers, sharks, thermonuclear winter, communist occupation (they'd make me be a farmer, har har, get it?), not heights but more specifically landing after falling from somewhere high up, losing my sight. I could probably list about 4oo more things here. I started to have a little Hannelore moment while typing this.

o3; Slightly connected to the above: I don't do horror movies. At all. It's unattractive how I scream too much. And sometimes flail. I have a wildly overactive imagination.

o2; Favourite food is a toss up between pancakes and stir fry.

o1; I need a nap after coming up with all these.

Internet Things That Are Getting Me A Little Frisky These Days

1. My personalized google page. It's got my writer's unblocker, my horoscope, a wikipedia search function, it tells me the time in all my favourite cities around the world and shows me the quote of the day. And it's green! And it still works like regular google! Truly the superhero of search engines.

2. Livejournal. As per usual. I just upgraded my account and I suddenly remember why I shopped around so long for space and fell in love with livejournal almost 5 years ago now. Even all the junk we have to put up with (still hating plus accounts, stupid new profile pages and *shudder* read-only mode), lj still kicks blogger's ass.

3. Twitter. Yes, I just figured out how to use the @reply feature, and now I'm super hooked. The fact I can update it from my phone is a total bonus too. Twitter makes it easy for all my friends and everyone else on the internet to stalk me a little bit more. How is it not an awesome website?

4. xkcd. Nine times out of ten, it's funny. And that tenth time, it's probably still funny, it just goes over my head. I bet sometimes I laugh, thinking I know why it's funny, but it turns out it went over my head anyways, I just liked the drawings.

5. Jango. Musical goodness. I've experimented with internet radio before, but Jango is a revolution and a half. No breaks, no pauses, not ads. I get to decide how much extra music I didn't select goes into my mix, and if I want, I can listen to someone else's station. EVery nine or ten minutes, I find myself saying (usually out loud) 'I love this song!'. Where else can Django Reinhardt and AC/DC be on the same station?

6. New Facebook. Yeah, that's right. I went there. I love new facebook. I like commenting on people's status updates. That's in my top ten favourite hobbies.

7. Etsy. I've only purchased a handful of items, but I love browsing. I can kill an hour staring at the pretties. I could furnish my entire house, my entire wardrobe and probably most other aspects of my life with things from this site. And the people are so fantastically nice. Not at all like real life.

8. Online banking. The fact that I get excited about banking is a little creepy, but I like being able to manage my finances in my underwear and that shit doesn't fly when you walk into a branch downtown.

9. McSweeny's. Specifically, all of it. Food for my brain. I love the lists section, and have linked some of them right here in this very blog. Hang on while I find a good one... Things That Are More Interesting If You Add A 'G'

Things I am not allowed to call my stepsister at the dinner table (later expanded to things I'm not allowed to call her at all):

- she-beast
- Hailey-face
- Monster breath
- Walker, Texas Ranger
- Smokeweed
- Billy the wonder chicken
- McGilly
- McSilly
- McDilly
- McWilly
- Willy-Willster
- Fred fred, the musical fruit
- Vampira
- Cockson
- *screech* *screech* KA-KAW!
- Bueller!
- Celery slayer
- The One
- The Big JC
- Loverbuns
- Killa'
- Gansta' luvvin'
- Silly willy nilly ole bear
- Jack
- Jack McJackson
- Mista' Jack
- Jumpin' Jack Flash
- BOOOOOOONES!
- Pookiebear
- Yo.

It's so sad. It's like my right to free speech is being obstructed.

[Note: Those are all things I have been reprimanded for calling my stepsister in the last two days.]

Okay, a few numbers from tonight particularly memorable six hour shift at the drugstore. "But Colleen, why was it particularly memorable?" I hear you asking. Well, let me enlighten you.

THE DAMN AIR CONDITIONER IS BROKEN.

Temperature difference between store and outside: 10 degrees cooler (outdoors)
Number of irate staff members inside: 4
Boxes of K&F order to be processed: 14
Number that were actually processed: 3
Number of bottles of water consumed by me: 9
Number consumed by entire night staff: 34
Number of bottles of Gatorade* consumed in total: 6
Number of other beverages consumed in total: 8
Number of times Wendy remarked "If I was ten years younger I'd take my top off.": 11
Number of times Wendy said "You know, this isn't just menopause.": 8
Number of customers who DIDN'T make a comment about the heat: 3
Number of prank phone calls made by Colleen and Wendy to Ryan: 2
Number of prank phone calls made in total: 12
Number of inappropriate phone messages left for other staff members on their home phones: 9
Number of these messages that were for Ryan: 3
Number of dogs seen in the store tonight: 4
Number of dog owners who said "We have to leave, it's too hot for (Fifi, Killer, Buttons, Craig)": 3
Number of nasty comments made about the boss who not let us close: upwards of 60
Number of ceiling fans in operation: 13
Number of other fans: 3
Number of times a customer remarked "Jeez, you should have some fans on in here.": 2
Number of customers Colleen nearly killed: between 1-100
Number of customers Colleen actually got to kill: 0
Number of customers who made Colleen smile: 3
Number of said customers who were pirates: 1
Number of times Colleen went on break: 4
Number of breaks that were permitted: 2
Number of minutes left in shift before Colleen broke down and took off her smock: 42
Number of times Colleen's mother came to pick her up, forgot her and drove away again: 1
Number of customers that came back later and brought staff lemonade: 1
Number of customers that should be made saints: 1
Number of times lottery machine fucked up and was stupid: 4
Number of times Colleen swore: around 65
Number of times customers heard Colleen swear: 4
Number of times Amanda caught Colleen talking to herself: 2
Number of times Colleen caught Amanda talking to herself: 3
Number of times Amanda and Wendy mocked Colleen for taking the weekend off because a book is coming out: between 7-12
Number of minutes Colleen read it takes for a core temperature of a human to normalize after spending more than 1.5 hours in the heat: 140
Number of boxes of chocolate bars left on the shelf: 0
Number of boxes of chocolate jammed into the pop coolers: 36
Number of boxes of chocolate bars that needed to be thrown out: 1
Number of phone calls recieved from boss following lines of "Is that damn air thing working right yet?": 6
Number of negative answers he recieved: 6
Number of times Wendy swore at him: 5
Number of staff who vowed to take a cold shower as soon as they got home: 4
Number of staff who also swore to a cold beer: 1; many, many times
Number of seperate parts of her body that Colleen now has heat rash on: 4
Number of pieces of clothing Colleen is now wearing: 2
Number of people who have commented on this thus far: 2

And wouldn't you know it, today was the first day in ages I didn't wear a tank top to work...

[* because when you sweat, you sweat more than just water....]

Ten Reasons Why I Am Proud Today

1. Multiculturalism is encouraged. We have a policy of bilingualiasm. Even though I suck at speaking French, it is part of who I am.

2. Medicare!!

3. We invented snowshoes, snowblowers and snowmoblies. And insulin. So hah.

4. As of Wednesday morning [technically Tuesday evening] Canada was the third country in the world [Belguim and the Netherlands being the other two] to approve gay marriages. I don't care how many bigots write to the papers and claim they want to be American now. Good. Go. The only letter I'm writing is to Judi Longfield, telling her how I'm glad my mother voted Tory in the last election [...*shrug*].

5. Now, not as much so lately, but: Canada used to have a kickass military. Not so much the Navy [tin pot navy... hee hee], but in WW1 and WW2 Canada was pretty darn awesome. [I got a good mark in 20th Century Canadian history. Trust me one this one.]

6. I know it's really lame, but I gotta have a love-on for Tim Hortons coffee.

7. Lots of cool places to go. Stratford Festival, Shaw Festival, Mirvish productions [kinda expensive...] in TO, Driftwood, and tens of a bunches of other theatre festivals. [Into the Woods is at Stratford! And Gypsy is at Shaw! I'm having a Sondhiem (sp.?) overload!!]

8. Hot guys. I don't care if people don't think hot Canadian guys exist, but they really do. And I am proud of them.

9. Our flag is really pretty. Not to simple, but not to busy like other flags.

10. Canadian rock 'n roll!! Woohoo!

Now, just one song before I go.

Except for that I'm not really going, and it's not really a song. [It's the thought that counts, right?]

So, update on my life:

-not so stressed anymore!
-was inspired to write slash by hottness of late
-wrote said slash, and am feeling proud
-mailed order off, expecting my zines soon
-hot diggity dog, I found a tube of superglue!
-have been making 'art' since I found aforementioned glue
-there was a shoebox update last night!
-thus, brain melted at sweeta ass sweet update
-mmmm.... shoebox...

Yep, that's it. Now I have to survive exams. Damn ancient history taking place so long ago that I have trouble remembering when... *shakes fist* Bio is all memorizing, so that's pretty cool. But I'm scared of Roberts' exam. He's taught all of NOTHING all semester, what in fig's name is he going tol put on the exam? I art terrified. Ooh, that reminds me. I'm doing my timed writing for Ms. Slater on Friday. I hope I get inspired, or else it is going to be seventy minutes of me writing crap. Which would get me an ass of a mark.

Met Sarah's Billy-dear on Friday night.

He bought me coffee.

...Not as great as the coffee that I was bought last week, but hey, there's a bit more of an emotional attachment there.

Which reminds me of the dirty dream I had the other day.

Though those two last thoughts have absolutely nothing to do with eachother. Nothing whatsoever. Nope, nothin'!

Went to work.

Spent a solid two hours flirting with stockboy.

Came to conclusion that: a] stockboy is not receptive to flirting, and ergo, I am bad at it.

b] stockboy was creeped out and did not know how to react.

c] stockboy was flirting back,and he is bad at it.

d] boys in generally are just fucking dumb.

My bets are going on option 'd'.

Also, tried to dye my hair. Colour not normal. Consider it 'an accident'.

And also again: Sarah and Aric are over.

And I have no idea why...

Seriously though?

I am in a serious slump here.

I need some new tunes to listen to. I am wearing out some of my cds.

Just to give you an idea:

My tired cds that need a break:

Rufus Wainwright - Want Two
Sam Roberts - We Were Born In A Flame
Sloan - One Chord to Another; Live at the Palais Royale
Zeppelin - III
Phantom of The Opera - Canadian Cast
Best of Blondie
Green Day - Dookie
Beatles - Sgt. Pepper; Revolver
Bright Eyes - Lifted; I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

This is what I have been living on for the last little bit. Plus half of the soundtrack to Wicked.

HELP ME.

...please?

-finished Writer's Craft Interview assignmet.
-if you know what is healthy, you will not ask how that went
-went with Patricia, Robyn, Maureen, Sam, and Linda to see tick, tick... BOOM!
-Patricia and I saw tick, tick... BOOM!
-it was so -ing awesome
-I want to buy the soundtrack, but I have to pay for Stratford so no.
-going also, to see Fiddler on the Roof
-I hope it's good
-having trouble downloading this stupid song
-Mr. Malkin is away some more. poor guy
-moving sucks ass
-I cut my finger this morning and it hurts so bad
-whine whine

Oh yeah:

-I was LIED to. That too. Still mostly angry about that.