The Grudge List
Dec. 13th, 2008 11:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unavoidedcrisis
014/031
December 13th, 2oo8
Today's entry is a doozy. It's the updated List of Grudges.
I hope you are all as amped as I am about it.
The following are people, places, things or concepts that I have a serious issue with. A grudge, one would call it. While it is possible to redeem yourself and get off the list and out of the bad book (keep in mind the bad book is less than proverbial. I have an actual book), it is highly unlikely.
Katie Baxter-Gilbert:: For encouraging an unhealthy love for country music, character-driven medical dramas and being far too naughty.
Sarah Harold:: For moving to Quebec and sticking me with the crazies.
Moe Genore:: For going behind everyone's back and becoming a Shriner. You had to know how that would hurt the family.. *shame face*
Adam Day:: For McLovin'
Lacey Richmond:: Also for McLovin'
Janis Moffat:: For my feelings of inadequacy when we hang out and for perpetrating the myth that the d12 is in any way useful.
Lia Ferrari:: For introducing me to a tv show I fell in love with and then refusing to lending me the seasons. Also for being in the country and still never visiting me.
Sorelle Richmond:: For scratching me every time we hang out, for no other reasons than you like the taste of my sweet, sweet tears.
Gravity:: For being too harsh a mistress. You have all these rules and laws, and you can't let up on them even for a second. You're worse than the Shriners.
Captain McLovin' "Mickey" Baxter-Gilbert-Day-Genore:: For being a pure miasma of evil and badness, for sleeping on my clean clothes instead of the dirty ones, for eating the last of the Tostitos and for ripping this family apart with your alcoholism. And also your adorably fluffy tail.
7oo Pound Beavers of Yesteryear:: For being such a terrifying thought that it wakes me up at night.
My Place of Employment:: For consuming my entire soul in one gulp. I used to have feelings, but you cured me of that.
Samantha Webster:: For being so damn cute. You're like a little kitten all doped up on the drugs with big wide eyes and squashed up face. Think Persian kitty. Yeah, like the ones from the Royale commercials. Nothing should be that cute. Also, you moved so far away, which is unacceptable (we call that 'pulling a Harold').
Lacey 'Ace' Williams:: For not naming him Marvin when that name is clearly tops. TOPS, I say!
All Of My Favourite Weekend Activities:: For leaving me bruised, broken and craving just a little more. (Pirateering is a cruel temptress.)
Karla Ramierz:: For not sharing the peanut butter. You know what you did.
Darien Taylor:: For an almost unholy ability to win at Jenga when he's in his true android form.
Seagulls:: For the awful noise you make. Why do you hate the sense of hearing? You godless monsters.
Pat McGowan:: For ruining it for the rest of us.
Jessica McCormack:: For introducing me to the thought that Paris Hilton isn't completely useless and for not visiting me. Ever.
Stewart "Stewie" Rivett:: You are tiny and kind of slimy and you bite my ankle very hard. I do not think you have redeeming qualities.
The Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe:: For being inevitable. That just really puts a damper on most things.
Chamomile Tea:: For calling yourself 'tea'. You are a fraud and liar.
Anyone With a Cell Phone:: For being too stupid to use it properly, for the most part. Shut up, put the phone down, and stop calling me dirty names.
The Fifth Dentist:: For not agreeing when the others clearly are on to a good idea. You're probably short and just being contrary to make up for something. Someone should kick you in the teeth.
The Kieran Special:: For being such an attractive alternative. You are too sexy for your own good.
Kieran Stevenson-Hastings:: For your namesake.
James "Posideon, King of the Seas and the Horses" McCormack:: For not claiming dominion over the wire coat hangers, which is clearly an award winning investment strategy. If you are too negative and self important to take my advice, then you too, shall perish with the rest.
SarahJayne Connick:: For not accompanying me on my trans-national dream trip to build cactus towers for the less fortunate and more intoxicated.
Orange Eyed Ducks:: For not finishing her when you had the chance.
Aimee Dunlop:: For sticking me with the Lake Heights clean up and for first introducing me to tequila, which we subsequently found out makes me a sexual predator. You created a monster.
Stefan Phillips:: For stealing my glasses, the third cardinal sin.
Chickens:: For having to always come in multiples of 15. That's a large, unmangeable number. Also, your feathers get everywhere.
Nanowrimo:: For convincing me I was awesome, then crushing my dreams like an otter with a clam.
Neil Patrick Harris:: For not liking vag. You're the perfect man, why won't you love me?
Blackberry Storm:: For being impossible for anyone with a single digit IQ to utilize. You will very soon become the bane of my existence.
31 Days 'o' Blog Super Special Fun Features
Today! In History: 1996. Kofi Annan elected Secretary General to the UN. Notice how I didn't list him. That's because he's pretty damn ace.
Quote of the Day: "He who suffers much will know much.”
Bizarre Fact of the Day: The first ever knitting was found in Egyptian tombs, dating around the third to sixth centuries CE. How bizarre.
These are, in fact, cupcakes of doom. Do not look them directly in the eye.
The Final Word: God this made me feel so good.
December 13th, 2oo8
Today's entry is a doozy. It's the updated List of Grudges.
I hope you are all as amped as I am about it.
The following are people, places, things or concepts that I have a serious issue with. A grudge, one would call it. While it is possible to redeem yourself and get off the list and out of the bad book (keep in mind the bad book is less than proverbial. I have an actual book), it is highly unlikely.
Katie Baxter-Gilbert:: For encouraging an unhealthy love for country music, character-driven medical dramas and being far too naughty.
Sarah Harold:: For moving to Quebec and sticking me with the crazies.
Moe Genore:: For going behind everyone's back and becoming a Shriner. You had to know how that would hurt the family.. *shame face*
Adam Day:: For McLovin'
Lacey Richmond:: Also for McLovin'
Janis Moffat:: For my feelings of inadequacy when we hang out and for perpetrating the myth that the d12 is in any way useful.
Lia Ferrari:: For introducing me to a tv show I fell in love with and then refusing to lending me the seasons. Also for being in the country and still never visiting me.
Sorelle Richmond:: For scratching me every time we hang out, for no other reasons than you like the taste of my sweet, sweet tears.
Gravity:: For being too harsh a mistress. You have all these rules and laws, and you can't let up on them even for a second. You're worse than the Shriners.
Captain McLovin' "Mickey" Baxter-Gilbert-Day-Genore:: For being a pure miasma of evil and badness, for sleeping on my clean clothes instead of the dirty ones, for eating the last of the Tostitos and for ripping this family apart with your alcoholism. And also your adorably fluffy tail.
7oo Pound Beavers of Yesteryear:: For being such a terrifying thought that it wakes me up at night.
My Place of Employment:: For consuming my entire soul in one gulp. I used to have feelings, but you cured me of that.
Samantha Webster:: For being so damn cute. You're like a little kitten all doped up on the drugs with big wide eyes and squashed up face. Think Persian kitty. Yeah, like the ones from the Royale commercials. Nothing should be that cute. Also, you moved so far away, which is unacceptable (we call that 'pulling a Harold').
Lacey 'Ace' Williams:: For not naming him Marvin when that name is clearly tops. TOPS, I say!
All Of My Favourite Weekend Activities:: For leaving me bruised, broken and craving just a little more. (Pirateering is a cruel temptress.)
Karla Ramierz:: For not sharing the peanut butter. You know what you did.
Darien Taylor:: For an almost unholy ability to win at Jenga when he's in his true android form.
Seagulls:: For the awful noise you make. Why do you hate the sense of hearing? You godless monsters.
Pat McGowan:: For ruining it for the rest of us.
Jessica McCormack:: For introducing me to the thought that Paris Hilton isn't completely useless and for not visiting me. Ever.
Stewart "Stewie" Rivett:: You are tiny and kind of slimy and you bite my ankle very hard. I do not think you have redeeming qualities.
The Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe:: For being inevitable. That just really puts a damper on most things.
Chamomile Tea:: For calling yourself 'tea'. You are a fraud and liar.
Anyone With a Cell Phone:: For being too stupid to use it properly, for the most part. Shut up, put the phone down, and stop calling me dirty names.
The Fifth Dentist:: For not agreeing when the others clearly are on to a good idea. You're probably short and just being contrary to make up for something. Someone should kick you in the teeth.
The Kieran Special:: For being such an attractive alternative. You are too sexy for your own good.
Kieran Stevenson-Hastings:: For your namesake.
James "Posideon, King of the Seas and the Horses" McCormack:: For not claiming dominion over the wire coat hangers, which is clearly an award winning investment strategy. If you are too negative and self important to take my advice, then you too, shall perish with the rest.
SarahJayne Connick:: For not accompanying me on my trans-national dream trip to build cactus towers for the less fortunate and more intoxicated.
Orange Eyed Ducks:: For not finishing her when you had the chance.
Aimee Dunlop:: For sticking me with the Lake Heights clean up and for first introducing me to tequila, which we subsequently found out makes me a sexual predator. You created a monster.
Stefan Phillips:: For stealing my glasses, the third cardinal sin.
Chickens:: For having to always come in multiples of 15. That's a large, unmangeable number. Also, your feathers get everywhere.
Nanowrimo:: For convincing me I was awesome, then crushing my dreams like an otter with a clam.
Neil Patrick Harris:: For not liking vag. You're the perfect man, why won't you love me?
Blackberry Storm:: For being impossible for anyone with a single digit IQ to utilize. You will very soon become the bane of my existence.
31 Days 'o' Blog Super Special Fun Features
Today! In History: 1996. Kofi Annan elected Secretary General to the UN. Notice how I didn't list him. That's because he's pretty damn ace.
Quote of the Day: "He who suffers much will know much.”
Bizarre Fact of the Day: The first ever knitting was found in Egyptian tombs, dating around the third to sixth centuries CE. How bizarre.
These are, in fact, cupcakes of doom. Do not look them directly in the eye.
The Final Word: God this made me feel so good.