Slash and My Boyfriend =/= Friends
Dec. 5th, 2007 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unavoidedcrisis
Ooookay. Way to throw a curve ball, boyfriend.
Craig informs me- right now, out of the blue- that he doesn't want me reading or writing any sort of slash fiction. At first I thought he meant with his laptop, but apparently he means all the time, ever, period. It scares him.
...
And now he's suddenly 'rescinding'. He says "sure, whatever, I don't care, do what you want." He thinks that I'm so mentally unstable that reading a story about a man with a knife will influence me to, I have no idea, cut myself and small children and cute furry animals.
Do I strike any of you as that fucking naive? Am I that weak willed that fanfiction can dictate how I live my life?
He's worried. Yeah, what the fuck ever. It scares him. Sure.
I'm both insulted that he thinks so little of me (I've been slashing since I was fourteen for god's sake, and not a single adorably wide-eyed kitten has fallen to my wrath yet) and I am shocked he is so suddenly objecting. He's known me for a year.
Now he's bringing up the fact that I listen to Marilyn Manson (very, very infrequently), and how upsetting that is for him.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know him at all.
Words are the most powerful thing, he says. Insight into the human soul and all that. Then you'd think he'd read my journal a little more often (read: ever).
And in case anyone was wondering, I'm going to keep on reading slash, and I just signed up for another one of those ultimately fun prompt table challenges of doom. Yay LJ.
Craig informs me- right now, out of the blue- that he doesn't want me reading or writing any sort of slash fiction. At first I thought he meant with his laptop, but apparently he means all the time, ever, period. It scares him.
...
And now he's suddenly 'rescinding'. He says "sure, whatever, I don't care, do what you want." He thinks that I'm so mentally unstable that reading a story about a man with a knife will influence me to, I have no idea, cut myself and small children and cute furry animals.
Do I strike any of you as that fucking naive? Am I that weak willed that fanfiction can dictate how I live my life?
He's worried. Yeah, what the fuck ever. It scares him. Sure.
I'm both insulted that he thinks so little of me (I've been slashing since I was fourteen for god's sake, and not a single adorably wide-eyed kitten has fallen to my wrath yet) and I am shocked he is so suddenly objecting. He's known me for a year.
Now he's bringing up the fact that I listen to Marilyn Manson (very, very infrequently), and how upsetting that is for him.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know him at all.
Words are the most powerful thing, he says. Insight into the human soul and all that. Then you'd think he'd read my journal a little more often (read: ever).
And in case anyone was wondering, I'm going to keep on reading slash, and I just signed up for another one of those ultimately fun prompt table challenges of doom. Yay LJ.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 01:54 pm (UTC)Just for the record, there are some times when it is okay to tell a person what to do (i.e. Honey, don't play chicken with the transport truck. Or: Honey, I really don't want you to torture kittens any more).
Even if it makes some people uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong or dangerous about Slash fics, or Marilyn Manson's music. Different strokes for different folks is all.
Wow.
Date: 2007-12-06 03:25 pm (UTC)The subject matter you read and write doesn't dictate how you live your life. If it did, I'd be a serial killer with a personal cult striving for redemption.
Similarly, music is just that.
Why is it so hard for some people to seperate appreciation of artistic merit with literal interpretation of said art?
Oy...
- Brendan
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 03:54 pm (UTC)Good for you for continuing to slash away :D
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 06:59 pm (UTC)Okay, maybe your guy might be better at talking issues out with you than mine was, but my ex-fiance of six years used to pull the same bullshit. He didn't like me going to see fucking HARRY POTTER because he knew I was in there swooning over Dan Radcliffe. He didn't want me to go to a Hanson concert (when I was twenty years old, not a psycho fangirl anymore) because, quote, "I know how you feel about Taylor." He didn't want me reading smutty stories, hell, he didn't even want me to buy a corset because he considered it "underwear" and "provocative" and didn't understand why I would want to wear one, because I obviously can't wear things just to feel pretty, it obviously meant I wanted everyone who laid eyes on it to offer me sex.
In short, he felt threatened by all this stuff. He didn't want me doing it because he felt like it would draw my attention away from him, change the way I felt about him in some way.
Like I stand a chance with Dan Radcliffe or Taylor Hanson. Please.
I have a feeling your boy's issues might be coming from the same place. Sounds like he's trying to steer you away from sex or provocative shit. If that's the case, you need to have a talk with him and say, "Listen, either you believe I love you or you don't. If you don't trust me, we don't need to be together, if you do, then you shouldn't be bothered by my writing/reading slash or listening to Marilyn Manson (Ed Note: Jesus christ. Who cares?) because it doesn't have any affect on how I feel about you."
Hope everything works out.
And DON'T give up anything for him. It's not worth it!
Hmmmm
Date: 2008-01-04 06:21 am (UTC)You haven't met me- yet. I'm one of Craig's old friends, and and ex of his to boot!
Craig means well, he truly does, but he's a touch too sweet for this old world. He truly MEANS well, he's not the controlling type, and he's only worried. He's an old soul, a kind soul, and he's a little old fashioned. Don't take what he says as not understanding- just explain your situation so he can understand where you're coming from and he can see where you are at.
I love him, but he can be misunderstood at the best of times. He's a real sweetheart, and a gem, and when he says these things, he's not being controlling, he's genuinely concerned.
People fear what they don't know, right? And he's just not familiar with the slash culture, that's all.
Anyway, sorry to interject my opinion where it is likely not wanted.