late nights, bright lights

Bright this morning:

MOTHER: [on a cell phone, somewhere between Florida and my house] So, Linda says you had an interesting night last night.
ME: OH SHIT. Linda, you sold me out! Oh crap, she's going to kill me and a half. I'm so fucked. Wait, wait, no. Just deny. Deny everything. Play dumb. Only speak in Spanish, throw her off. Deny, deny, deny! Yeah, maybe.
MOTHER: Yeah, a whole night of staying in and holeing up in your room, lit up by the grey shadows of the computer moniter.
ME: Ehhh.... mostly.
MOTHER: We need to get you a boyfriend or something.
ME: Or something...
MOTHER: But where would we find a boy with such a lack of self respect and such low standards? [[She was joking]]
ME: Ashburn?
MOTHER: What?
ME: ...I'm going to be late for work Mother, I'll see you when you get home.
MOTHER: Yep, love you.
ME: Love you too, Mother.
*hang up*
ME: I mean, "sucker"!

But then she got home. Her and Hailey had just pretty much pulled in the driveway. I went out to help them bring in their stuff...

HAILEY: *sees me, bursts out laughing*
MOTHER: *smile*
COLLEEN: *shiver and confusion*
MOTHER: So...
HAILEY: *smacks my shoulder, continues to laugh*
COLLEEN: *shiver, smack Hailey, is confused* Yes?
MOTHER: How was everything while we were gone? School? Work? Pets? Kissing Colin?
HAILEY: *dying laughing*
COLLEEN: New semester's fun, work is ass, killed all your animals and what was that last part? Sorry, didn't quite catch it. You'll have to speak a little louder next time.
MOTHER: I can't even go away for two weeks without coming home to find you kissing boys.
COLLEEN: Sorry Mom. Next time it will be girls.
MOTHER: Did I ever mention how much of a nice boy that Colin is?
COLLEEN: See? It's all a matter of perspective.

Some quotes to delight/upset:

James: Mmm mammograms. It sounds like Teddy Grahams.

Lia: oh my god, tell me this isn't the story you were talking about
Colleen: ....... this isn't the story i was talking about.....

Colin: thats probably the vest solution
Colleen: Bwa ha ha ha! "vest solution".... you kill me

Aric: Any other names you want to call me?
Colleen: Shoe!
Aric: ...Well that's a new one.

Ryan says: hey colleen, your good at grammer and stuff, right?
colleennnnnnnn! says: *convulses*
Ryan says: what?

... I shouldn't have more than one conversation window open at once:

Ryan says:
i havent said anything disturbing today... at least not that i can recall

[I think, okay, whatever you say...]

Aric says:
so apparently im a sexy transvestite eh?

[Now, I have a trouble, apparently, reading the names of the peole I am talking to. Screw the fact that all my windows are colour coded. I manage to mistake one window for the other.]

Me, to Ryan: Oh, transvestite? And you're not disturbing?

Thank heavens I realized at the last possible second and refrain from that comment. I mean, it would have been funny afterwards, but I have not the patience to try to explain myself tonight.