Daaaaaamn.
Oct. 15th, 2006 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unavoidedcrisis
[An open letter to oneself:]
You fucking moron.
I can count on one hand the number of people, including myself, who know and then you go spouting off to fucking strangers? When you're sick and stupid, you keep your fucking mouth shut. Howzabout that becomes a new rule around here, 'kay?
What good could possibly come from that? Do you think people will actually care, or have anything to say other than 'I'm sorry' and then turn around and secretly think 'whooooa, fucking weirdo'?
Fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck.
And now what? What did you even want from it? Someone to confide in? Of course you wanted that, but do you think you'll find it? In anyone around here? I don't think that will happen for you, sweetest. It's better to keep your head down and bury yourself in schoolwork and concentrating on not things-that-suck-really-bad. It'll be better that way.
And look, if you make it through this week and you hand in those two essays, we'll go out and buy us something nice. I've always wanted a houseplant my roommates can't kill. A cactus or pretty ivy or an aloe plant, maybe.
Love, although some days I don't know why,
Colleen
I look back on where I'm from,
look at the woman I've become
And the strangest things seem
suddenly routine.
Oh goddess, now I'm e-patronizing myself. At least it will ... what, teach me a lesson? Damn, I hope so.
I still feel like trash. I nearly coughed myself to death coming in just a few minutes ago. Not pleasant, I'll tell you that right now. A nice early night might do me well again. Stupid class and it being tomorrow. As sick as I was and as quiet as it got, I really miss being [almost] alone for [almost] a week.
I bought a fishie today, much to my mother's chagrin. She thinks having a fish will detract from my studies. Bah to her. His name is Skyfire and he is adorable.
You fucking moron.
I can count on one hand the number of people, including myself, who know and then you go spouting off to fucking strangers? When you're sick and stupid, you keep your fucking mouth shut. Howzabout that becomes a new rule around here, 'kay?
What good could possibly come from that? Do you think people will actually care, or have anything to say other than 'I'm sorry' and then turn around and secretly think 'whooooa, fucking weirdo'?
Fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck.
And now what? What did you even want from it? Someone to confide in? Of course you wanted that, but do you think you'll find it? In anyone around here? I don't think that will happen for you, sweetest. It's better to keep your head down and bury yourself in schoolwork and concentrating on not things-that-suck-really-bad. It'll be better that way.
And look, if you make it through this week and you hand in those two essays, we'll go out and buy us something nice. I've always wanted a houseplant my roommates can't kill. A cactus or pretty ivy or an aloe plant, maybe.
Love, although some days I don't know why,
Colleen
I look back on where I'm from,
look at the woman I've become
And the strangest things seem
suddenly routine.
Oh goddess, now I'm e-patronizing myself. At least it will ... what, teach me a lesson? Damn, I hope so.
I still feel like trash. I nearly coughed myself to death coming in just a few minutes ago. Not pleasant, I'll tell you that right now. A nice early night might do me well again. Stupid class and it being tomorrow. As sick as I was and as quiet as it got, I really miss being [almost] alone for [almost] a week.
I bought a fishie today, much to my mother's chagrin. She thinks having a fish will detract from my studies. Bah to her. His name is Skyfire and he is adorable.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-16 01:03 am (UTC)And e-patronizing is okay in moderation, so long as you don't beat yourself up in person. *hearts*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-16 01:08 am (UTC)cheer up :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-16 01:16 am (UTC)Oh dahlin. Fishies rock, and don't worry about spouting off to people. I'm sure they don't find it THAT strange. Just relax!!!
Loves you!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-16 02:05 am (UTC)XD hope you're feeling unsick soon.