PSA

To Whom It May Concern;
aka: Dear Douchebag;

You live in my neighbourhood. I deduced this when I saw you pull into the driveway across the street and get out of your car with groceries.

This means you have probably noticed that our darling little ghetto has no sidewalks. Which, if you have any brain power at all, means there's no sidewalk for me to walk on.

If you can use your eyes (and you were driving a car so I really hope you can) you might have noticed it is absolutely pouring rain. Which means, in our darling little ghetto without the sidewalks, that there are huge puddles running up and down both sides of the street.

So when I look both ways before crossing out into the street to walk around a puddle, don't purposely cut me off, splash me and honk your horn, screaming 'walk on the f--king sidewalk!'

Because not only is it rude and actually impossible given the aforementioned facts, but I just looked both ways and you weren't there, which means you were driving way too fast and the speed limit in our darling ghetto without sidewalks is fifty, asshole.

-Colleen

PS: Do you know how many people in our neighbourhood drive teal Ford Tauruses? Pretty much just you, that's how many. Just sayin'...