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unavoidedcrisis
Hello. My name is Colleen and I occasionally suffer from anxiety. Go ahead, judge me now.
I realize that this problem is mine and mine alone to deal with, and I ridiculously apologize if you ever have to be near me if/when I have a panic attack. It's painful and embarrassing for me and I would in no way want it to affect anyone else. I do my best to only "break down" in private, but sometimes these things cannot be stopped.
It's not something I choose for myself and it's not something I would wish on anyone. Trust me when I say I am doing my absolute best to find new ways to deal with it. I have been trying for two years, ever since it started.
The last few weeks have been trying for me. I've been neglecting my daily schedule and routines and dealing with a lot of emotional and psychological upheaval. Today was a little crazy, I'll admit. I went a little "wild". Let it be known I am fully feeling the after-effects.
But like I said: this is my problem. I am dealing with it.
No, not with doctors and pills and hospitals. I tried that. I gave it a fighting chance. Hell, I gave it three or four fighting chances. And it didn't work. I believe I am not out of line feeling threatened by these things. I have had a whole slew of bad experiences and only maybe three good ones when it comes to hospitals, pills, and shrinks. I get defensive and skittish when people suggest these things to me (especially while I'm having an anxiety moment).
Whatever you need to say/accuse me of/recommend to me/rant about, please do so now. Get it all out in the open. Don't bottle it up and explode at me later. Say it to my (journal)face and give me a chance to explain or at least a chance to tell you to fuck off.
Thank you.
I realize that this problem is mine and mine alone to deal with, and I ridiculously apologize if you ever have to be near me if/when I have a panic attack. It's painful and embarrassing for me and I would in no way want it to affect anyone else. I do my best to only "break down" in private, but sometimes these things cannot be stopped.
It's not something I choose for myself and it's not something I would wish on anyone. Trust me when I say I am doing my absolute best to find new ways to deal with it. I have been trying for two years, ever since it started.
The last few weeks have been trying for me. I've been neglecting my daily schedule and routines and dealing with a lot of emotional and psychological upheaval. Today was a little crazy, I'll admit. I went a little "wild". Let it be known I am fully feeling the after-effects.
But like I said: this is my problem. I am dealing with it.
No, not with doctors and pills and hospitals. I tried that. I gave it a fighting chance. Hell, I gave it three or four fighting chances. And it didn't work. I believe I am not out of line feeling threatened by these things. I have had a whole slew of bad experiences and only maybe three good ones when it comes to hospitals, pills, and shrinks. I get defensive and skittish when people suggest these things to me (especially while I'm having an anxiety moment).
Whatever you need to say/accuse me of/recommend to me/rant about, please do so now. Get it all out in the open. Don't bottle it up and explode at me later. Say it to my (journal)face and give me a chance to explain or at least a chance to tell you to fuck off.
Thank you.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-19 04:31 am (UTC)Hope you're doing okay Cutie G.
After all, you have a very pretty smile.
*is misses*
- Brendan
(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-19 05:32 am (UTC)Funnily enough, I just talked about this sort of thing with a real life friend; she also had a really bad experience with medication.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-21 04:04 am (UTC)practically every member of my family has some form of it. myself included.
and most are too stubborn to seek help for it. so at least you've tried.
and you have my permission to punch anyone in the head who gives you a hard time about having anxiety. it'll make you feel loads better.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-21 07:33 pm (UTC)I can kill them for you if you'd like :)
Damnit Harold
Date: 2008-07-28 01:06 pm (UTC)Compost piles are not always the way.