unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
Hey guess what, I hate the new LJ releases re: comments. But I'm guessing y'all already knew that. tbh, I'm still unhappy with the "crosspost to FB and Twitter" options. -.-

I had to deal with a stack of student loans paperwork this morning. Now I am made of grumpy feelings.

OH and if that wasn't enough, I've been having about a solid week of those "I am legitimately the most unattractive beast to have ever clumsily roamed the earth" feelings. Seriously, could I be any more repulsive as a human? But instead of feeling fat and ugly and bloated and like I have bad skin and gross teeth, I now ALSO have a cold sore. Because stress is sexy, don'tcha know.

And I fucking hate the sound of my own voice. More than I hate the new way we're supposed to pick icons for comments now, which is saying a lot.

And I hate my new glasses, too. So much for be stoked for them at the shop. They're awful and I look super dumb.

SELF ESTEEM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR EVERYONE. Clearly I was wrong on that one.

PS, Hobbit trailer blew my mind. Glad my browser doesn't try to correct "hobbit." It knows the score :D
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
I slept for 3 hours this morning. Before that, I'd had 2 hours of sleep in 4 days. So I'm at 5 hours in as many days.

I've had strep throat since September and there's been talk of removing my tonsils, but we're trying more antibiotics and, uhhhh. Those other ones. Steroids. Yeeeeah.

There was a big blow out fighty argument at work yesterday. I think I'm okay? We'll find out tomorrow when I go back in.

So I hate everything. Everything makes me angry or sad or upset. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me apart from insomnia and low iron (I had a B12 shot Friday, but I may need another one). Who knows. Another mystery.

Besides everyone at work, apparently everyone else I know kind of detests me right now. It's like the Derwid-Loeverhastel Principle, but in reverse. Sorry for what basically amounts to my entire life right now, everyone who knows me. This is Leen, in all her glory. It's probably just easier to hate me and think I'm a moody fuck. I'm down for that. I've been through it all before. It's (I'm) going to get worse before I get better.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (profound thoughts)
I was in a play when I was younger (I was in plenty of plays, actually, I went to theatre school for 7 years, not to mention community theatre and backyard plays for the fam, plus SOS in university). The point is, I was in this particular play when I was younger.

I continue in this vein for a bit, then veer quickly into talking about my chest in terms that might freak people out. Nothing horribly graphic, but cutting here for possible tmi just in case. Also, length, as usual. )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (little singing bird)
Here are some things I just don't understand.

1) Heavy metal. I mean, I kind of get heavy metals (although it's never really been well defined as to how you get into that club), but the music of the same name confuses me. It's probably really hard to play and more power to you, metal guitarists, but wow it just kind of hurts my ears and makes me angry. I can't understand what you're saying if you keep shouting and growling like that! It's like talking to an angry dog.

2) And why don't people like sitcoms? You don't have to like all of them, but I find it hard to believe there is not a single situation comedy you don't at least sometimes enjoy. WHY DO YOU HATE LAUGHTER.

3) And sausages are gross. What part of the animal are you even eating? I don't think you know. And that weird me out. Same with pepperoni (though it makes a good name for a gecko) and extra same goes for meatloaf.

4) What's the deal with Lost? What was the story for that even? It seems like six years of unanswered questions and random shit that the writers thought would be a good idea. Or maybe this is how it happened:

'Guys, the dog ate the scripts for this week! I think he got angry because he was listening to too much incoherent metal music and he couldn't figure out what he was eating, so he was trying to get back at me! What do we do?'

'Shit, I knew we should have let him watch Scrubs! Add a polar bears and some smudgy smoke shit that kills people. That'll do for at least another half a season!'


5) I like drinking booze. Alcohol makes me feel warm 'n' fuzzy and it makes it easier for me to deal with people. I am not a notoriously good dealer of people usually. But I don't get the appeal of being so drunk you throw up. Most people don't like throwing up. In fact, most people try to avoid it. Unless they're drinking. All I'm saying is if you hate your friends so much that you need to drink until you can't remember anything you did with them at all last night, maybe you need to Craigslist some new friends. Just sayin'.

6) What's the deal with spelling on the internet? Why do some people find it so difficult to do? I mean, you can navigate to facebook or twitter or whatever site you blow at spelling on. You typed in the url without killing anyone. How is 'where' or 'their' so hard to spell? ESPECIALLY considering most browsers have the option for auto-spellcheck?

These are just some of the things I don't get today, guys.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> mckellan will fuck your shit up)
Four Things

1 - I am sick and therefore extra bitchy today. It's been a long time coming, but it's finally here.

It's not strep, which is weird because we're halfway through May and I've only had strep once. Normally I average out 5-6 cases of strep a year. I guess I'm just going to be really really gross later this year? I do not like the idea of attempting to write for Nanowrimo with uber strep from hell...

I actually think it's just a cold. Do you know how long it has been since I just had a regular head cold instead of some kind of Super Illness? Just having a cold feels so weird. I can still do most things! I'm not bedridden! I am, instead, coughing my lungs out and complaining a lot. I have also apparently lost most of my voice.

2 - cut for incredibly long rambling and stupid family drama )

3 - LJKA;SDFLDASLJDSDOEWRN. Guys. I read through the changes Bean made to our Big Bang and added a few of my own (mostly correcting errant punctuation). We also discussed (at length!) all the extra extended scenes, deleted scenes, way too cracktastic/pornographic/both scenes that will be included in the 'bonus features' section. I am so so so excited for this to be posted in fifteen days, you really have no idea. It doesn't even matter if not a single one of you reads it, I am going to read it and I am going to love it and I am going to flail over it. That being said, I still hope some of you read it ;)

It's a Supernatural AU from 5x10 and contains such awesome things as 'Intense Man Pain!', 'Magic Oreo Cookies!', 'Men Who Cry, Try To Deny They Were Crying and Then Hug Manfully!' and 'A Goldfish!'. And to be fully honest, it's only like 45% crack.

SO I AM EXITED ABOUT THAT.

4 - What's the deal with grammar? Seriously, I never really understood it.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (yellow owl)
Some of you may have heard about the ordered euthanasia of almost 350 animals at the Newmarket animal shelter because of a massive ringworm infection and also have met me and therefore can probably predict everything I'm about to write.

But in case you haven't, here's me talking at you about it some. )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> shenanigans)
So apparently some wank is going on on Diana Gabaldon's blog about fanfic.

GRRM posted about it in his own blog. Now, his position is well known re: fic (he doesn't like it). That's cool, he's allowed to not like it. As a general rule. he makes very valid points about his reasons. I get it.

But then this, as he describes the situation.

Which soon, alas, became heated, as hundreds of... what's the correct term here? fanficcers? fan fictioneers? fans of fanfic? defenders of fanfic?

The term you were looking for is 'writers'.

But thanks for being so condescending.

ANYWAYS.

Funeral tonight was ... insane. Like 400+ people there which is intense for a funeral. I only cried when my mama started reading and then I drank some beer. And then some more beer. And then, I had a glass of water. And then another beer.

The whole while, it was pouring rain, right, so I was worried I was going to have to build an ark and then I starting thinking about Eddie Izzard's bit about the ark/speedboat. Two dogs, two sheep, two cats, two ducks...

The ducks say 'we're not coming!'

Noah says 'but there's going to be an enormous fuck-off flood!'

The ducks say 'so?'

Because all the animals that could swim or float got off scot-free. Major loop-hole, right?

It was all I could do to not fall out of my chair. INAPPROPRIATE EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TIME!

aforementioned izzard audio under here )

So now I am writing (FANFICTION. GASP.) and eating leftover celery sticks and thinking about how weird my life can be sometimes. I had something else I want to write about but I don't remember.

EDIT: I remember!

Gabriel.

Yeah. You know how sometimes a name just gets ruined for you forever? Or not ruined, but... changed? Like how many girls would be able to date/marry/fuck a guy with the same name as their father?

I think Supernatural fandom ruined/changed the name Gabriel for me. Inappropriate giggles were had by all.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> tldr)
Wow. Okay. Here comes something I never thought would happen. I'm going to talk about something vaguely political. WHAT. I know, right. I was surprised too.

cut because not everyone cares about my thoughts on sex ed. )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (this is alarming)
This is the first thing I want to ramble about

Going to the pet store kills a little piece of my soul every time I do it. The people are unhelpful, the fish creep me the frick out and the other animals always seem depressed and sickly.

I went yesterday morning to buy gecko food and after three or four minutes of trying to get someone's attention, the clerk is walking by me and I say 'excuse me?' and he says 'need something, lady?'

Things Wrong With This:
1. 'Need something' is not any way to greet anyone, let alone a paying customer who comes in multiple times a week (and asks you for the same thing every time).
2. I've been politely asking for your assistance since I got here, clearly I need something.
3. I'm not a 'lady'! I'm a 'miss' or a 'pretty girl'. You douche, you ruined my day.

And they had at least a dozen rats in a ten gallon tank with a glass lid (which, imnsho, borders on cruel) and one of them wry neck something fierce and it always makes me sad.

But I got my crickets and went home. Pepperoni had a hard time eating them, of course, because we have determined he is not very bright at all. He kept lunging for the reflection of the crickets in the tank wall while the actual crickets were sitting right next to him. It's very entertaining to watch a gecko hunt for food.

Went to the dog rescue today. Last weekend while I was holed up in my fort watching Muppets and being ridiculous sick, they got a huge influx of small dogs. Normally the rescue is full of big dogs, right, so small dogs are rare. But last week they got like, nine.

Now. I don't like small dogs. I like biiiiiig dogs. So going into the pen with ten little yippy fluff things was not high on my list of things to do. But then I did stick myself in there and Oh. My. Gosh. Okay. Okay. There's this terrible little thing called Reed (some sort of Silky Terrier cross) and he's grey and like, the barkiest thing ever when he gets going but when I was just chilling out in the pen, he curled up on my lap and was purring for me. PURRING. He needed to put on like, ten pounds though. Poor little dogs. So many of them are underweight. I just want to cuddle them all. Except Cody, who bit me and frak does it ever sting.

Okay, but I don't need a dog. I don't need a dog. I DON'T NEED A DOG. I especially don't need a little dog that likes to bark. It is just my weird fixation on babies recently. Because small dogs that need a proper brushing and extra food cuddles because they are sad rescues are just like babies! Stupid girl parts, making me want to nurture helpless drooly things.

This is the second thing I want to ramble about

Lemonade is awesome.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (sad -> llama face)
I have very weird skin. This is a well known fact to me. It's super sensitive and usually dry and it gets weird over the smallest things. Today though... *whew*

I went through a really tough time a few years when I couldn't use scented anything and then even the unscented soap and detergent would gives me rashes and I couldn't use any soap at all for like, six months. Just water.

It got so bad that once, I tore off all my skin like wrapping paper and cavorted around like a crazy skinless thing. Okay maybe not. Things turned around and my skin is generally pretty cool now. There are certain products and brands I know I can't use, but other than that my skin generally behaves (except it's still always dry).

Yesterday I bought some nice new soap (OF DOOM, apparently). It was Dove 1/4 Moisturizer waterlily and cool mint, which I thought was rad because Dove is generally awesome and it smelled good.

BAD NEWS GUYS.

I don't know what it was but I thought I was going to die. I used it to shave my legs with no immediate problem. Well, the skin on my legs is apparently the most resilient because it took just long enough for me to lather up the rest of me with the soap before the searing hateful burning started on my legs. So I rinsed super fast like lightning, but it was way too late. I rinsed for like, twenty minutes, long enough for the water to turn stone cold, and yet it still felt like a wicked-terrible burning all over. Arms, legs, torso, other bits - if you know what I mean.

Uhhhh. It's like, eight hours later and I'm still extremely uncomfortable. My mama didn't believe I could have such a brutal reaction to soap, so she washed her forearms with it, thinking it maybe had extra carbolic acid added, but she didn't even get an itch. So it's hers now, whatever, but OW. *whiny bitch*

Even wearing clothes is painful D: I certainly have my llama face on tonight.

GRR!

Feb. 5th, 2010 05:22 pm
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> going mad)
Alright, so I noticed on my main page for LJ that the little boxy that showed me how long ago I last updated my journal was and had the link for my inbox, etc, WAS MISSING.

I did some investigations and learned I am a very poor spy, because I couldn't find it. And then in my idiocy, I changed my LJ viewing layout thingy from XColiber (aka: olllld viewing style) to whatever the hell the new one is called, completely forgetting that I HATE the new one and LOVE the old one and can't get the old one back once I change it. *facepalm*

So now I am stuck with this stupid vertical bar up the side of my page AND I still can't find that little box with my inbox in it. Anyone else having this issue? Any way to trick LJ into giving me back XColiber?
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> snape shut up txt)
So I have misplaced a single disc from a season of Supernatural, apparently.

I am usually very diligent/possibly OCD about putting them in their right cases, ESPECIALLY my seasons of things. Like, a movie is 15-20$ to replace, a season is 50-80$.

I've checked through every case in my bedroom and on my book case and did a pretty solid examination of the living room, but to no avail. I can't think of the last time I actually watched that dvd since that time I was also googling my own name and found out I won some Youth in Action award back in '06 but no one told me for whatever reason. And that right around my mama's birthday because when I called her to say happy birthday she was all like, 'oh yeah, I remember that award. There wasn't any money so I didn't think I needed to tell you.'

Yeah, I remember things like that.

So I haven't touched these dvds since February of last year. Could I have misplaced it then? Maybe I was twitchy about the award and fed the disc to a bird in my frustration? Maybe McLovin' did it?

Someone else could have touched it since then; my dvds have been in the living room for a while.

However it got lost, I just noticed that it was missing after not touching it for that many months and only now am I having the ridiculous, all consuming desire to watch the episodes on that disc. Even though I don't really, you know, like them. It's a forbidden fruit thing, I guess.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> shenanigans)
Without getting into eleven years or so of back story, let's just say I think my family has hit the end of their tolerance for my step brother.

Not to brag or anything, but I hit my limit about five years ago so they're just jumping on my bandwagon.

I'm also currently hiding in the bedroom because it sounds like WW3 is going on upstairs. That'd be cool, I normally like the bedroom, except I really gotta pee and damn if I'm not craving a bagel. I mean, it's been an hour and a bit already they have to be done soon, right?

*facepalm*
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> castiel you did not)
Alright, so this might get whiny.

I know I'm not a great writer. I don't have the flair for the creative like I wish I did. I can't make people cry or laugh or think deep thoughts with my prose. I probably never will. I've long since accepted I am not an all star when it comes to that.

My writing averages about a C-. My very favourite, most proud writing moments might score a C+ or a B-. Not stellar, but average. Enough to get me by.

I woke to a review from FFN (aka: Pit of Voles) in my inbox. I haven't posted anything to FFN since December 2007, and the story that the review was for was from 2004. That's almost six years ago now. I read the story again. It was decent! Like, two spelling mistakes, some extra commas here and there. And it doesn't change tense once through the whole story, which was my biggest problem as a young writer. The characters were believable and followed canon, it had a unique concept and I happen to think it was one of my better-titled works (god, I am so bad at titles).

The review I got?

"Um, WTH is this supposed to be?"

Yeah, maybe I'm just hormonal or something, or pissy because I dislike the holidays, but it irked me. It irked me like the 'you need to move your car' lady irked me. I didn't think anything of it at time, but as the day went on, I got more and more ticked off.

So I deleted everything off my FFN account. Closed down the whole thing. I salvaged what I could from the fiery wreckage of sub-par fanfiction. It'll get remodeled and retitled (I was worse then at titles and I am still shit at them. Scary thought!!) and posted to my writing journal if I am feeling prolific.

It might seem like an overreaction, but it was something I kept meaning to do anyways and this anonymous idiot just pushed me over the edge.

I mean, unsigned, anonymous review, really? I can see not liking a story and wanting to leave concrit for the author, or hating it entirely and not leaving anything at all, but to take the time to respond just to be a big sack of dicks? Yeah, the internet is a hate machine, I know, but it just irritates me to no end.



Oh, and it turns out, I was writing crackfic before it was cool to write crackfic. You might be interested to know I was writing 'so and so is suddenly a dinosaur!! But everyone's okay with it because, come on, it kind of makes sense' before it became The Thing.

FYI BTW

Oct. 30th, 2009 12:51 am
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (my name on a tiger)
So... Laid off today.

I wonder what will happen to me tomorrow?
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (cabbagey answer)
Both of my bras broke sometime in the last 12 hours. I have an emergency back up from Katie, but it doesn't quite fit and it makes me all pointy-chested, which I do not like. So I am braless, for all intent and purposes, until I can spend a whole bunch on getting new ones, which also means getting fitted again, which I also really don't like.

And my allergies are trying to kill me.

Right now, FML.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (cake and a knife)
Now I know I've ranted about this three or four times in the past, but I was just recently pissed off about it anew, so here we are.

We have wireless internet in our house. Which I help pay for every month. At the beginning of the year, I got a laptop because my desktop broke down and decided it was time for an upgrade to something more portable. Because who doesn't love the have the internet in the living room, or in the kitchen?

Well, for the first few months, my roommate flat out refused to give me the WEP key to log on. He said I could just use the 5.5 feet of cord in my bedroom if I wanted to go online. He claimed the password was the password he used for everything and he was not going to share it because then I'd have access to his entire life (or something equally stupid as a reason). He finally caved and gave me the code, but it still didn't work so he claimed it was my computer that didn't work.

Now roommate dear is an only child from a single parent family and is used to getting everything his way that it sets my teeth to aching sometimes. Other roommate does not believe in conflict, so apparently I have to settle for using the cord in my room.

Fine, if that's the way you want to act, I'm happier in here with the door closed.

But then I got a new laptop and sold old laptop to roommate two. Who, in the month since she got the laptop, has never once has an issue using the wireless network. She can even use the web from the front lawn, as we proved last night.

Bolstered by this, I attempted signing on this evening while we were downstairs. No avail, it still doesn't work.

He gives me the same excuse he did before. 'It's your computer.'

Well no, genius, it's not. It can't have been my computer this whole time because a) the old computer works fine for the roommate you do like, and b) this computer has been successful in getting a wireless signal in at least 4 other places (cousin's house, mother's house, sorority house, Janis's house).

So now he's claiming he's not going to try the other router we own, because the current set up works for him and roommate 2 has no complaints, so why should we change anything when it works for both of them and I'm the only one with an issue?

It's not a majority rules system if I'm paying the goddamn bill.

So I'm going to go yank all the cords out of the wireless and claim that it works for me and if he's got something to say about it, well then maybe I'll hit him in the mouth not pay anything this month.

EDIT: He attempted to be less of a meanie. I have been slightly mollified. And we're getting a better router tomorrow.

PSA

Apr. 3rd, 2009 09:33 pm
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
To Whom It May Concern;
aka: Dear Douchebag;

You live in my neighbourhood. I deduced this when I saw you pull into the driveway across the street and get out of your car with groceries.

This means you have probably noticed that our darling little ghetto has no sidewalks. Which, if you have any brain power at all, means there's no sidewalk for me to walk on.

If you can use your eyes (and you were driving a car so I really hope you can) you might have noticed it is absolutely pouring rain. Which means, in our darling little ghetto without the sidewalks, that there are huge puddles running up and down both sides of the street.

So when I look both ways before crossing out into the street to walk around a puddle, don't purposely cut me off, splash me and honk your horn, screaming 'walk on the f--king sidewalk!'

Because not only is it rude and actually impossible given the aforementioned facts, but I just looked both ways and you weren't there, which means you were driving way too fast and the speed limit in our darling ghetto without sidewalks is fifty, asshole.

-Colleen

PS: Do you know how many people in our neighbourhood drive teal Ford Tauruses? Pretty much just you, that's how many. Just sayin'...

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unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
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