unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (girl with cards)
So. My life is a swirling vortex of suck right now.

No. I mean. It could be worse and I'm probably just whiny? But also, it sucks.

My hip hurts. A lot. All the time.

My grandfather, one of my favourite people of all time ever anywhere, has been in the hospital with a broken hip since 6th June. He was ~officially~ released from the rehab place on 29th August (long story, but he was going to stay an extra 2 weeks or so until we finished upgrading his apartment so he could stay there with grandma without too much difficulty). Except then on the evening of the 29th (incidentally, my grandmother's 80th birthday), he had what we thought at the time was a major stroke.

Rushed to hospital from rehab centre, my grandmother, mother, step-father, aunt and one cousin were there when mother sent her bff to come pick me up from my work mid-shift to go to emergency room to be there when grandpa died. Because that's what we were pretty sure was about to happen.

We said our goodbyes, he said his -- two words at a time in barely a whisper -- and then the night nurse was a vicious dillhole fuckface assclown pissbutt and kicked us out. Yeah, so. We don't like that nurse. At all. Grandpa was not stable, we had absolutely no guarantees he would make it til morning (and the doctors were pretty sure he wouldn't), he (grandpa) was begging us not to leave him, and he (nurse) made us all leave. :|

Well, grandpa didn't die overnight, the doctors reordered the MRI in the morning that they had ordered, then figured, 'actually no he probably won't live that long' and then cancelled the night before, and lo and behold, it wasn't a stroke.

We have no idea what it was. No one does.

Grandpa is stable, but in borderline poor/grave condition, STILL does not have a bed 116 hours after being admitted, and is still on a stretcher in the ER.

Which, you know, would make for a terrible fucking weekend for everyone involved, especially grandpa.

EXCEPT.

Remember how it was my grandmother's 80th birthday? Yeah, we planned a huge party. Family from all the fuck over coming in. Once we figured out we'd have a little lead time to prepare and get to the ER if grandpa did decide to die on us, he demanded that we have the party anyway.

Since we're the ones who live in town, my mother kind of spearheaded the event on Sunday. And the event on Saturday. And the second event on Saturday. And and and and.

I have not stopped moving since I went to work on Thursday. There are people everywhere. Talking. Loudly. Because that's what my family does. Everyone's leaving today, so people stopping by since 6am to say bye.

Uncle and cousin who were staying here (no one usually stays here, we have too many dogs, but there was no where else to put people) just left. Mother and stepfather have gone to buy a GPS. I am alone (with said too many dogs). There is the ringing in my ears that I can only associate with my family. Even the dogs at the kennel make less headache afterwards.

Going to see Grandpa today -- mama and I didn't go this weekend since so many other people were visiting and we've already pissed the hospital off plus Grandpa gets worn out so fast. And then I'm going to paint my nails, and then I'm going to sleep forever...

Or until I have to go in to work early tomorrow. :\
unavoidedcrisis: rainbow swoosh with the text "nyarrr" (nyarrr!)
My mother and step father went away for two weeks and I was supposed to dog sit. So I did. But also I work 65-70 hours a week now, so the lady across the road was going to co-dogsit. Nothing intense, just coming over once a day Thursdays-Sundays to let them out for five minutes and then lock the house up. Seriously not hard to do, despite how ridiculous our dogs are.

She shows up on the second day and says no, not only can she not do this anymore, but her and her husband have suddenly decided to go to Mexico for a month, so would I mind watching her dogs.

Um. That is the actual exact opposite of you watching mine, lady.

Plus, yeah, ours are a little hyper? But you have a people-aggressive Staffie and a blind&deaf&can't use his back legs at all 80lb Malamute who also has insulin-dependent diabetes. Your dogs are hella harder to take care of than mine!

Long story short, I'm dogsitting. idek.

Um. What else is happening in my life.

I got stabbed with a needle and some Euthynol. Yes, that does exactly what it sounds like. I'm fine. It was a laugh. Slash I was fucking sick as hell for a few days, but I'm good now.

I accidentally all the Les Miserables feelings I thought I was over. So. That's drastically affecting my quality of life these days. I wrote fic. Yeah, that bad. [livejoural.com profile] cherie_morte has it right now and it preparing to shred it into strips. I'll let you know the progress there.

Almost done (hahah maybe?) my [community profile] apocalypsebang. Needs an ending with a little more horribleness. It's been a pretty flip apocalypse thus far.

I went to the dentist today and apparently now I have to have all four of my wisdom teeth out to prevent all my teeth from exploding at once or something. I was only partially listening. She made it sound scary though.

There goes most of my Wincon money and my tattoo money and my new purse money. I was saving so good, too!

That... is basically it. I'm boring and I have a lot of emotions about dead French revolutionaries and/or Thor's hair.
unavoidedcrisis: dalmatian resting its head on the arm of a couch (resting dalmatian)
I think I am about 70% over my plague death? I really fucking hope so, anyway. Yesterday I walked to the library and back and by the time I got home, I pretty much wanted to die entirely. Today though, I loaded the dishwasher without quitting life, so that's something. Baby steps. Still dizzy as butts every time I move too quickly, and still coughing like a demon constantly.

Also tired. Suuuuuper tired. Just started new anti-depressants and I was told that could make me tired. But like. I'm really tired and I could probably sleep right now? It feels weird. I'm usually exhausted but the insomnia keeps me awake for days at a time. Is that normal, does anyone know if severe sleepfacedness is a side effect of starting anti-depressants?

I watched all of Suits while I was bed ridden. Pretty decent. Gina Torres is flaw-free, so that's the big draw there, I think. Think I'm going to try Arrow? I hear not knowing a shred of backstory is actually helpful. Wah. After I finish Gilmore Girls.

ALSO I finally picked a fandom/idea for [community profile] apocalypsebang, so I'm writing my tail off for that. Maybe it will end up being my only Nanowrimo project and it will be 50k long and I'll be one of those people. lolnope.
unavoidedcrisis: rainbow swoosh with the text "nyarrr" (nyarrr!)
Went to the doctor today because of this persistent douchebag of a cough. It's bronchitis + sinus infection, yaaaaay.

But we were talking about my chest (the inner parts, not the pretty booby parts). Apparently my ongoing problems breathing could have something to do with allergies.

Him: Do you ever have exposure to cats or dogs?
Me: ........................................................................................................ Yep. Both.
Him: Maybe you could go a week without handling them, see how your breathing is from there?
Me: Ummmmmm. Probably not.
Him: Are they non-shedding at least?
Me: Fallacy, there is not such thing as a cat or dog that does not shed at all. All of them shed a little. Even the hairless ones lose the few hairs they do have periodically. Also, they get zits you have to pop. On their butts. Is that really an attractive alternative, people?
Him: *stares blankly*
Me: *stares blankly*
Him: *stares blankly*
Me: But, no, really, I'm not getting away from the pets any time soon.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
I slept for 3 hours this morning. Before that, I'd had 2 hours of sleep in 4 days. So I'm at 5 hours in as many days.

I've had strep throat since September and there's been talk of removing my tonsils, but we're trying more antibiotics and, uhhhh. Those other ones. Steroids. Yeeeeah.

There was a big blow out fighty argument at work yesterday. I think I'm okay? We'll find out tomorrow when I go back in.

So I hate everything. Everything makes me angry or sad or upset. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me apart from insomnia and low iron (I had a B12 shot Friday, but I may need another one). Who knows. Another mystery.

Besides everyone at work, apparently everyone else I know kind of detests me right now. It's like the Derwid-Loeverhastel Principle, but in reverse. Sorry for what basically amounts to my entire life right now, everyone who knows me. This is Leen, in all her glory. It's probably just easier to hate me and think I'm a moody fuck. I'm down for that. I've been through it all before. It's (I'm) going to get worse before I get better.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (already sorry i was born)
I don't think I even have to words to write out the about of 'omg I hate the internet' I am having right now, so I'll just apologize for anything I said to anyone over LJ, AIM, MSN, FB, Twitter or carrier pigeon today. I'm a whiny jerk when I sick, and have pretty much zero filter, especially because the amount of codeine-laced cough syrup in today is astounding. I mean, it's not at 100%; I think a little blood got into my drug-system. I'm not sure.

Anyways. Clinic tomorrow, attempting to sleep now. Frak, it's too hot to be livable right now. FML.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (magical pink umbrella)
Skipping today for the 30 Days of TV Meme because I don't have the energy to do day four's answer justice tonight. Instead, have another meme and a sad story.

Yet Another Music Meme

Rules:

- List the names of 20 of your favorite bands. (I can only think of 15. Sue me.)
- Have people try to guess your favorite song by each of them.
- Bold the ones that were guessed and add the title of the song.


01. Great Big Sea
02. Sloan - Everything You've Done Wrong
03. The Tragically Hip
04. Florence + The Machine - Drumming Song
05. Boys Night Out
06. The Hush Sound
07. Lady Gaga - Speechless
08. Tilly and the Wall
09. Barenaked Ladies
10. The Beatles
11. Kevin Devine
12. Motion City Soundtrack
13. Savage Garden
14. Sam Roberts
15. Taylor Swift - Our Song

That only looks like a weird list to me because I know I listen to a lot of country music, yet I'm not really showing that reflected. I also never realized I listen to so much Canadian content on a day to day basis, but I apparently do.

Also, if I were a MASH character, I'd apparently be 'Trapper' John.

Sad story has cut for icky. )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> mckellan will fuck your shit up)
Four Things

1 - I am sick and therefore extra bitchy today. It's been a long time coming, but it's finally here.

It's not strep, which is weird because we're halfway through May and I've only had strep once. Normally I average out 5-6 cases of strep a year. I guess I'm just going to be really really gross later this year? I do not like the idea of attempting to write for Nanowrimo with uber strep from hell...

I actually think it's just a cold. Do you know how long it has been since I just had a regular head cold instead of some kind of Super Illness? Just having a cold feels so weird. I can still do most things! I'm not bedridden! I am, instead, coughing my lungs out and complaining a lot. I have also apparently lost most of my voice.

2 - cut for incredibly long rambling and stupid family drama )

3 - LJKA;SDFLDASLJDSDOEWRN. Guys. I read through the changes Bean made to our Big Bang and added a few of my own (mostly correcting errant punctuation). We also discussed (at length!) all the extra extended scenes, deleted scenes, way too cracktastic/pornographic/both scenes that will be included in the 'bonus features' section. I am so so so excited for this to be posted in fifteen days, you really have no idea. It doesn't even matter if not a single one of you reads it, I am going to read it and I am going to love it and I am going to flail over it. That being said, I still hope some of you read it ;)

It's a Supernatural AU from 5x10 and contains such awesome things as 'Intense Man Pain!', 'Magic Oreo Cookies!', 'Men Who Cry, Try To Deny They Were Crying and Then Hug Manfully!' and 'A Goldfish!'. And to be fully honest, it's only like 45% crack.

SO I AM EXITED ABOUT THAT.

4 - What's the deal with grammar? Seriously, I never really understood it.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (gen -> spinning girl)
My hair is the longest it's been since I was 12 years old. I mean, it'll be a little longer tomorrow, because it's magic like that. But WHOA long. Just past my shoulders long.

And I don't know what to do with it. I feel like I need a new hairstyle. Or I need to learn how to actually style my hair at all. I wish my hair was curlier. Not curly persay, just wavy. I'm considering a perm.

I did something awful and painful to my neck today or sometime last night. I don't know what it was, but now I can't really turn my head left more than like, fifteen degrees. OW. Hot water bottle and sulking should hopefully fix it. If not I am seeing the doctor tomorrow.

Pathfinders was physically exhausting. One of the girls pulled my arm a little too hard and now my shoulder is all frakked up too. So. Hot water bottle and sulking for that too.

Um. My lips are chapped because apparently it's winter again. My hot water bottle won't solve that.

Today, officially, my teeny tiny baby stepsister turns 17. I am so old. And nothing will fix that. Ever.

I THINK I'M DONE WHINING NOW.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (sad -> llama face)
So I am sick. And when I get sick, I get horribly whiny.

I blame it on never getting enough love when I was sick as a child. My mother is a nurse, so when I had the flu she was always 'yeah and? It's the flu. Come back when you have legionnaires.' The time I had mono, she was pretty sure I was just lying to get out of school, so she threatened to ship me off to military school or to live with my father (both would have been terrible beyond reason, let's be honest). But blood tests confirmed I had mono and an ultrasound confirmed that my spleen was enlarged and ready to pop. But I didn't die that time, which on one hand is awesome and on the other hand if I had died then I wouldn't be sick and whiny now so...

Yesterday I actually managed to pull myself from bed and go to visit [livejournal.com profile] epiphanyx7 who made me noddles and a blanket fort and let me watch Battlestar Galatica on her couch. Then she read me stories and I wandered home. I love her very very much. I will call her Faithful #2 and when the revolution comes, she will not be eaten. As for the rest of you... We shall see.

Today though, I have fully nested in my bed and I am not getting up. Unless I need to pee, but I think that's a given.

If it wasn't a fever dream, Katie came in here, woke me up and took my bank card. If that is the case, she is called Enemy of the New State #2 and when the revolution comes, she'll be met with a fate worse than being eaten. If it was a dream, then she is forgiven. For now.

GUYS. I think what I'm trying to say is that I'm sick and cold meds make my brain a melty goo mess and then I say strange things and I have a fort.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> lazer kitty)
Bean and I finished the draft for our AU Big Bang fic. I can honestly say I have never been more excited for something I helped create in a long time. So it's got to be beta'd and then a few more edits, but then it's going to be DONE and it will have art and awesomeness and man pain.

In other news, I might have strep throat. First time in 2010 and it's April. That's actually a pretty good record. I haven't had any major illness yet this year. Go me and my shitty immune system.

This morning, Katie, Adam and I drove up to Sudbury. And I got a gecko. Yeeeeeah! She is actually a he, so my perfect name was dashed to pieces. And he's not a regular morph; he's actually a lot lighter. I think he is a very handsome fellow. He has a purple tail!

He actually likes being handled, which is cool. And you're holding him, he likes to lick the heck out of you. Right now, he's hunting some crickers. He's very ferocious.

First Photos )

So I'm super stoked about this. He desperately needs a name, of course. I like Leoben (a la Battlestar Galactica) or Clarence. His middle name will be Pepperoni because that is a kickass middle name. Thoughts?

After almost three weeks apart, Freddy got home this morning. I intend to cuddle him for hours.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (sad -> llama face)
I have very weird skin. This is a well known fact to me. It's super sensitive and usually dry and it gets weird over the smallest things. Today though... *whew*

I went through a really tough time a few years when I couldn't use scented anything and then even the unscented soap and detergent would gives me rashes and I couldn't use any soap at all for like, six months. Just water.

It got so bad that once, I tore off all my skin like wrapping paper and cavorted around like a crazy skinless thing. Okay maybe not. Things turned around and my skin is generally pretty cool now. There are certain products and brands I know I can't use, but other than that my skin generally behaves (except it's still always dry).

Yesterday I bought some nice new soap (OF DOOM, apparently). It was Dove 1/4 Moisturizer waterlily and cool mint, which I thought was rad because Dove is generally awesome and it smelled good.

BAD NEWS GUYS.

I don't know what it was but I thought I was going to die. I used it to shave my legs with no immediate problem. Well, the skin on my legs is apparently the most resilient because it took just long enough for me to lather up the rest of me with the soap before the searing hateful burning started on my legs. So I rinsed super fast like lightning, but it was way too late. I rinsed for like, twenty minutes, long enough for the water to turn stone cold, and yet it still felt like a wicked-terrible burning all over. Arms, legs, torso, other bits - if you know what I mean.

Uhhhh. It's like, eight hours later and I'm still extremely uncomfortable. My mama didn't believe I could have such a brutal reaction to soap, so she washed her forearms with it, thinking it maybe had extra carbolic acid added, but she didn't even get an itch. So it's hers now, whatever, but OW. *whiny bitch*

Even wearing clothes is painful D: I certainly have my llama face on tonight.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (grr -> mckellan will fuck your shit up)
I've got the taste of envelope glue in my mouth and it's pretty much the worst thing in the entire universe. I can't get it to go away. I've tried everything short of fire eating. Augh! Augh! Make it stop!

Oh, but I've haven't tried peach schnapps. I better try that before I bust out the Red Birds.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (awesome -> all monkeys serve him)
Days 'o' Blog Count: 21/31

A few things:

Thing the first: Supernatural night! Yay hiatus is over!

Thing the second: My stomach is currently trying to turn itself into a coyote. This would be fine, except it is also currently still inside me and therefore causing me pain.

Thing the third: I did not get nearly enough sleep last night. My world is upside down. Blurr hurrr hargh.

31 Days 'o' Blog Super Special Fun Features
Quote of the Day: Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. [WC Fields]

Fact of the Day: Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols according to French Tradition. He visits homes on New Year's Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes.

Pretty Picture of the Day: here )

Song of the Day: 'The Final Countdown', Europe. Because I couldn't think of anything that was even a little bit more epic tonight.

The Final Thought: My leg has begun to heal from it's pen stabbing incident last night. I think we're out of the woods, ladies and gents.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (oh no you did not)
So it turns out when I thought I was getting healthier there for a week or two around Thanksgiving, my body was actually lying to me and I was staying the same amount of sick or possibly even getting sicker. Hooray. At least I have not lost my voice this time around (yet) but the cough is worse than it should be. My entire body hurts from coughing. My freakin' feet hurt from coughing. How is that even a thing?

I found out on Thursday I do not actually have work until the 31st, our site is closing as of 6pm on the 29th. Balls, right, because I'm losing like, two days pay? WRONG. I get paid from the 29th-1st of November regardless. So on Nov. 1st I'll be getting paid to start my Nanowrimo novel. Pretty good incentive to start big, I'd say.

I don't know where all this 'morning person cheerful attitude' came from. This is very unlike me. I normally sleep just a little past my alarm and then grumble and blearily walk into things until I finally fully wake up around noon (after I've normally been at work for 2 hours...). The last three days have seen me awake and damn near perky at least forty minutes before the buzzer sounds. Well, this morning I blame it on the coughing, BUT STILL.

Still don't really have a Hallowe'en costume, which I need for our GGC party on Tuesday. I'll probably just wear black lipstick and call it an evening. Not into the Hallowe'en spirit this year. Something about losing my job makes me not feel like partying.

Speaking of GGC! Who wants cookies? I still have a few cases to sell, 4$ a box, deliciously chocolate-minty and now trans fat free. Supporting a good cause. *tantalizes with cookies* Though if you're not in Canada it will make getting the cookies difficult. You could send me the money and I could eat them for you, I think. :D

Anyways, work is beckoning like an unholy traffic cop, so I have to get some juice and catch a bus. Have a nice day, internet.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (snape says shut up txt)
So, as you might know, my job is to answer phone calls. I get paid to talk for eight to eleven hours a day. And I have a five hour overtime shift tonight.

I LOST MY VOICE.

Yeah, Wednesday night it gave up the ghost. I can barely whisper. Yesterday, I forgot my swipe card to get through the front doors, so I rang up the help desk to get someone to come let me in AND THEY COULDN'T HEAR ME. If they can't hear me to even get inside the building, how can they expect to field Laquiesha's* and Billy-Jo-Ray's* and Senor-Jose's* questions about their cell phone bills?

And it's worse today than it was yesterday. Probably because they had me on the phones yesterday. Durh.

So I ask you, how is this even my life?

*Yes, everyone I speak to is either rllyrlly stereotypically black, rllyrlly stereotypically Latino or rllyrlly stereotypically redneck. It's downright painful at times. Apparently a prerequisite for getting a cell phone in the States is proving you're a racial caricature. Like a twisted entrance exam.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> ruination and calamity!)
Supernatural RPG at Janis's tonight. Nothing to major, especially story-wise. Just a little something to keep our dice rolling hands from rusting up. It was a kick back to the earlier seasons with a KILLER CAR. Oh yes. We defeated it by loving and befriending it.

...

Also, Janis has a tiny apartment and it is hard to fit five rowdies and all our extra crazy into it. I miss rp-ing so much sometimes. Damn that Ace for moving away and breaking up the dream team.

In other news, work smells. I am working an extra shift this week, but not getting paid overtime for it. Why is this, you ask? Because I'm a little crazy like that. But then I get four days off, so I guess that's better than overtime pay, right?

O, and one of the other supervisors commandeered my desk and gave it to one of his agents because 'they were unhappy with their original seat'. Um, 'scuse me, I've been sitting there since April and I was quite happy. Now I'm playing musical desks again. *resists urge to light fires* I'm not even going to mention the loss of the best chair in the site, because that will send me into a swooning, fainting spell and I don't have the proper couch for that.

We're going on a hike/cookout with GGC in a few weeks - our first real outing. I super excited and also a little nervous. I haven't done anything this involved with children in a long time. All my recent hiking has involved liquor and swear words. I hope I am the proper role model I'm meant to be.

I guess when the worst things in my life right now are losing a chair and being worried about lighting little girls on fire by accident, my life is pretty okay.

Besides the strep throat.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (beer me strength)
In the last, oh let's say fifteen minutes ago, I got this strange sensation in my mid region. It feels like a horse has stepped onto my middle and hopped around a little. Or a lot.

GO AWAY HURTFUL PAIN. You make me sad faced.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (face it)
Fully and entirely fuck you, ice.

I slipped, hardcore, on my way home and boy am I ever glad that no one saw. But I am not glad that I now have a concussion. FML.

Not going to talk about the play I checked out tonight.

Am going to mention how damn creative I am and how yummy tempura sweet potato is.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (brain in a jar)
I have had this migraine since Wednesday. Please just shoot an arrow through my eye and end it for me.

I lost my marbles on a customer today. Surprisingly effective.

Chocolate milk and tomatoes = best meal ever.

This is all.

(Expect a drastic influx in crazy in the next few days. Codeine is the only thing that makes the hurting go away.)

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