unavoidedcrisis: dalmatian resting its head on the arm of a couch (resting dalmatian)
If I took every thing/person/abstract idea/etc that I have declared to be "my patronus" in the last week and mashed them all together, it would be the single most horrifying thing in existence.

And then, through my terrified sobbing, I would declare it to be my goddamn motherfucking patronus.

True story.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (my evil laugh)
Okay this is going to be pretty weird.

I need helping building a mad science device.

I won't tell you what it does, but I just need to know the name of some parts that I would need for any mad science type gizmo.

Think Wonderflonium or Solar Powered Polarity Reversal Unit.

The more ridiculous the better.

Halp?



And I should clarify, this is for the superhero story I am working on, not for any of my weekend plans.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (gleeful skimbleshanks)
I'm going to save Defendor until I can actually focus on it. So I'm watching Cats. Because that's somehow similar. Whatever.

Um.

So.

Why do they all hate Grizzabella? I get that they do but... why? Am I missing something? I feel like it would make more sense if I knew why. Anyone? Thoughts? Theories? Some important plot point I have been missing for all these years because I have the attention span of a fork?

EDIT: This guy says it's because she used to be a hooker-cat. idk if I like that answer...

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (lucky charms)
- Somehow, I found some old Twinnings tea adverts from like, '07, with Stephen Fry and Aldis Hodge and there was some giggling and hand flailing. McLovin didn't see what was such a big deal.

- Catching up on my terrible guilty pleasure show. Not even going to tell you what it is because it's all mine and I'm not sharing the absolute ridiculousness.

- Got my class schedule this morning. I have 9 classes in first semester. That just seems like a lot, right? It's not all bad. Only 17 hours a week and only 1 class on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. I have some pretty good weekends too. End at 9:30am on Fridays, start at 1:30pm on Mondays. So that's a half decent three-day-and-a-bit-weekend. Do not like 8am classes 4 days a week though.

- Multigrain cheerios are the frickin' best.

- I think I'm going to make a rec list of my favourite stories featuring my favourite thing to read about: banter. Banter rec list? Heck yes. I think it's a good idea. It will make me happy, at any rate.

- Getting curtains and stethoscope next week!
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (yummy kisses)
So when I'm reading fic, but especially when I am reading a sex scene, the number one thing that ruins it for me is one tiny little typo. There are probably a hundred things that make it awkward for me, but the top of the list thing is seeing the word 'me' in dialogue when the writer meant to write 'my'. It just sounds so ... Scottish? Jamaican? Hilarious?

Writing in any sort of dialect weirds me out. I can usually hear it in my head, I don't need to read it on paper. Especially if the character is not Scottish or Jamaican. It is not sexy for me. It gives me a bad case of the giggles. I know it's a common typo. I do it sometimes. Cue the giggles.

In other 'porn is ruined forever' news, I tried my hand at some things for Porn Battle Ten this past week. I apologize sincerely.

under here for links )

So that's what I've been doing. Still not comfortable writing smut. I feel like a tiny awkward human when I try.

We officially adopted Abby yesterday. She makes a lot of noise by just existing. She's also twice as big as I remember her.

Watched all of the cartoon series 'Archer' with Katie the day before last. It's kind of the most hilarious thing ever. I mean, it's terribly crude and vaguely offensive, but let's be honest, I have bad taste. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (i'll man the flashlight (dean))
I've been writing this story. I really hit my stride the other night and put about 2.8k on my word count.

Woke up in a panic yesterday and realized "oh no, my story is set in Boston and I'm not from Boston! What if I got details wrong?!". Now little things don't bug me that much, that's called artistic license. I can make up the location of a department store or randomly add a set of traffic lights.

But I have a scene with the characters stealing ammunition to kill zombies with. Where I come from, you can buy bullets at any gun shop or military surplus, obviously, or at any outdoors store or even Walmart. Turns out, in Boston, you need to go to very specific gun shops. That's not something I can 'artistic lisence' right over.

So the 2,000 and some odd words I wrote are basically nonsensical rambling. My epic night of extra awesome writingosity feels more like a night of epic writing failosity.

Does anyone else ever have that problem where a little detail turns out to be way more important than you thought and then you want to punch yourself in the throat for messin git up because now it means you're going to spend all day rejiggering what was supposed to be an easy, breezy plot device/angst machine?

Or is that just me, then?
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (i say so much but nothing at all)
Smoked today out of the water with 1722/1500. Hah! And I only claimed I was going to be a milk vampire once. Brendan, the sweet little dumpling he is, has promised me 1 kidnapping of my choice if I successfully complete my 1500 words a day. That's a pretty sweet deal, guys.

Also managed to get around to posting a bunch of stuff to my writing journal. Going to link it here in case anyone is interested. Most of it's too short to actually be considered fic, but you get the idea.

Supernatural and Leverage fic beyond the jump )

Look Ma! New fandom! I'm branching out! *does tree impression*

It's 4 am and I don't know why I'm awake and [livejournal.com profile] scorpiod01 is making up lies about me and some ducks AND I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS. So that's it for me tonight, intertube. I promise I'll behave better tomorrow.

JULY

Jun. 26th, 2010 10:52 pm
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (lucky charms)
ATTENTION ALL UNMOTIVATED WRITERS ON MY FLIST.


So I looked at my calendar the other day and realized I have looming deadlines for some writing pieces, and somehow July is almost upon us and oh yeah, I have no drive to do anything.

Out of the blue and clearly as an answer to my unspoken prayers, one of my favourite Nanowrimo friends messages me and asks if I would be interested in a writing exercise.

Thus I present for your consideration!

*drumroll*


Write Until We Die July


Now of course, we don't actually want anyone to die, but the idea is to write 1500 words a day (any project welcome! Even things you've already started. Even if you just want to write in your LJ!), every day, for the month of July.

It's that easy.

Support, words wars, good-natured shouting and extra heapings of fun to be found every day from friends and strangers alike.

No LJ community for this, it is going to be mostly AIM based (weird right, but I guess that's how we roll), and you can ping me any time for an update or an invite to the current chat. You'll get me at unavoidedcrisis ;)

Also, I'll be spamming the hell out of you with my daily progress meter for all of July. HAAAAY.

The only thing we request is respect, guys. That means no drama, no starting shit, no fandom wank. Many participants a) have different tastes/backgrounds/triggers/politics/races/religions/preferences, b) are not part of fandom and don't want to hear about it and c) are really nice people who don't need headaches. Just like all of us, right?

It's about the writing guys, and we're all in this together *I would put an HSM gif here if I had one, but I don't so imagine the Zefron for me, k?*

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] character_bleed for the banner because she thinks I am incapable of making my own. SEE WHAT I DID THERE.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (little singing bird)



Katie is a bad, bad man. And Livejournal kept cutting me off as I tried to say goodbye. All in all, first voice post was a win, y/n?
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (bravo! (george))
First insane idea

I was talking to my grandmother tonight and she gave me a really crazy idea. So crazy it might just work, actually.

So I'm looking for a place to live for when I move to school, right, and it's very difficult to do in such a small town. Why not just buy a trailer, winterize it and be my own landlord?

Quickly, someone give me a reason this would be insane.

Second insane idea

Ditch school, get over my fear of spiders big enough to eat birds and move to Sydney for 2 years with Katie.

Second idea might require Katie and I get married for it to work, but as I realized the other night as we were bickering over whether or not she was going to go to the bar, the only thing missing from our marriage right now is the ring anyways.

What's the job market like in that area for someone who is a big time failure like me? *ponders*

30 Days of Television Meme, Day Eight )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> shenanigans)
So apparently some wank is going on on Diana Gabaldon's blog about fanfic.

GRRM posted about it in his own blog. Now, his position is well known re: fic (he doesn't like it). That's cool, he's allowed to not like it. As a general rule. he makes very valid points about his reasons. I get it.

But then this, as he describes the situation.

Which soon, alas, became heated, as hundreds of... what's the correct term here? fanficcers? fan fictioneers? fans of fanfic? defenders of fanfic?

The term you were looking for is 'writers'.

But thanks for being so condescending.

ANYWAYS.

Funeral tonight was ... insane. Like 400+ people there which is intense for a funeral. I only cried when my mama started reading and then I drank some beer. And then some more beer. And then, I had a glass of water. And then another beer.

The whole while, it was pouring rain, right, so I was worried I was going to have to build an ark and then I starting thinking about Eddie Izzard's bit about the ark/speedboat. Two dogs, two sheep, two cats, two ducks...

The ducks say 'we're not coming!'

Noah says 'but there's going to be an enormous fuck-off flood!'

The ducks say 'so?'

Because all the animals that could swim or float got off scot-free. Major loop-hole, right?

It was all I could do to not fall out of my chair. INAPPROPRIATE EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TIME!

aforementioned izzard audio under here )

So now I am writing (FANFICTION. GASP.) and eating leftover celery sticks and thinking about how weird my life can be sometimes. I had something else I want to write about but I don't remember.

EDIT: I remember!

Gabriel.

Yeah. You know how sometimes a name just gets ruined for you forever? Or not ruined, but... changed? Like how many girls would be able to date/marry/fuck a guy with the same name as their father?

I think Supernatural fandom ruined/changed the name Gabriel for me. Inappropriate giggles were had by all.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> that's too freaky txt)
If I am very crazy all at once, we call it a complete breakdown or that time Cas and Bobby had a baby and they didn’t name it Trgiaob.

If I am crazy at a consistent rate for three years, we call it my Twitter feed.

Given the rate at which I tweet, I’ll probably hit 3,000 tweets today or tomorrow morning. In an attempt to determine when I started tweeting at all, I scrolled through 2,991 tweets last night. For the most part I can say 'cool!' because it made me remember things that I may have otherwise forgotten about. But there was also quite a few moments of 'WTF was I talking about?' And so I bring you that now. The best of the WTF moments of the last 3000 tweets. A lot of them are about trees. I couldn't tell you why.
Original spelling mistakes and crappy grammar preserved.

This is where it all starts to get weird. )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> this is alarming txt)
Dear Cattle,

You have four stomachs. What's up with that? I mean, if there are four of you in a room, I would expect you to have four stomachs, but you have four stomachs with only one of you in a room (four cattle in a room would be somewhere in the neighbourhood of sixteen stomachs). This is, of cours,e ignoring the fact that y'all probably shouldn't be in a room at all. Cattle belong in a paddock or a barn.

I get why you would have two stomachs. You need one for softening the food and making it into cud, and then another for fully digesting. But the next two seem like overkill. I'm just saying, maybe you'd like to share some of those stomachs around to some of the creatures who only have one stomach. Make it a little fairer when we're talking about digestion.

Cattle! You only have one heart, dudes, don't you worry that your one heart gets kind of put out that your stomachs can have a party and the coolest thing your heart can do is ride a unicycle... It all just smacks of unfairness to me.

As long as we're talking about things you have to much of, I think you need to cut down on the number of words that are used to talk about you. There's 'cattle', which is the general word for you. 'Bull' means an intact male. 'Micky' can mean a wild male cow. 'Maverick' means the animal is unbranded. 'Cow', of course, means a female who's given birth. Before a female gives birth, they're called a 'heifer'. The list goes on, cattle. It's more than a little excessive.

You're cool, cattle, and I'm down with you. I just think you've been coasting for too long. Shape up, guys.

Very Sincerely,
Colleen
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> ruination and calamity!)
I really wish I was a ballerina.

Seriously.

How is this my life?
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (gen -> wading girl)
Latvia:

I understand that you recently when through some political turmoil, but that is no excuse for rudeness. I got no thank you card for the fruit bouquet I sent on your birthday and that just seems spiteful. Please, for your own good, send one in the next forty-eight hours or you will not like what happens as I will be forced to take drastic alternative measures. I'm not asking for much, Latvia, just a little respect.

Unless you comply with my request for common courtesy, I will have no choice but to capture and systematically devour all the white wagtails in the world and then you'll have no national bird at all and won't you look silly? This is normally where one would say 'this will hurt me more than it will hurt you', but really, it won't hurt me at all.

The ball is in your court, Latvia. You lose face with some of the more 'hardcore' countries who never send thank-you cards or return voicemails or respect you in the morning, or the birds get it.

Respectfully yours,
Colleen
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (gen -> i am canadian)
Okay. Weird thing.

Not weird, I guess, just, hrm. Something I never really thought of before.

Someone in one of my communities was inviting people to a meet up of sorts somewhere in the northern-ish parts of England (idk my UK geography very well) and people were saying things like 'yay I will be there' or 'alas, I cannot make it' &c&c because that is normally happens.

But then I started thinking about like... where this is all going down. I found myself a labeled map and checked out some cities in England and decided to see how long it would take to like, cross the island.

Guys. Google Maps gives me the rough estimate of a trip starting in Plymouth, UK, stopping in Ipswich, UK and ending in Aberdeen, UK at just under 16 hours. THAT'S ACROSS ONE COUNTRY, ALL THE WAY UP AND INTO THE NEXT.

LET'S LOOK AT A MAP.

map number one )

Significant trip, yes?

Okay, now if my mother left her house now in Whitby, ON, drove up to mine to get me and Katie in North Bay, ON and then we continued on to my uncle's place just out of Thunder Bay, ON (all in one province, not crossing any borders), IT'S ESTIMATED THAT WOULD TAKE ONE HOUR MORE THAN THE FIRST TRIP.

Shorter to drive across an entire country than to go visit my uncle and his hot tub.

LET'S SEE THAT MAP NOW.

map number two )

Sure, the maps are not on the same scale, BUT YOU CATCH MY DRIFT, RIGHT?




tl;dr!! I'm exhausted and realizing Canada is huge. Also, what's up, UK, I could road trip the hell out of you.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (ilu -> tutu fakir hug)
I was walking down the rainbow road when a one armed walrus bit my leg. I cried chocolate milk tears and sat on the marshmallow skunk. We decided that dim sum is good with tea and tea is good with umbrella soup.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (awesome -> BRAVO george)
GUYS.

I posted my story for [livejournal.com profile] help_haiti.

I actually finished a story.

I actually finished a story and I don't hate it! This hasn't happened since like... '07!

This calls for all sorts of George!



Yessssssssssssssssssssssss.

fic is here, btw, and it's ridiculous.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (omg -> skimbleshanks glee!)
From [livejournal.com profile] cherie_morte::
Leave a comment saying, "COMMENT" and I will give you five words I associate with you. Then post about what they mean to you, along with this, at your journal.

my answers back here )

Anyways, I ramble. As if you couldn't tell.

See guys, I was going to write this big long rant about how I hate people so very much, but I started writing about MUSICALS and then I started LISTENING to MUSICALS and then everything went warm'n'fuzzy (except it's still bloody cold in here) and now I don't have the energy.

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