unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
A few months ago [livejournal.com profile] erture posted about which five female fictional characters she would want on her "crap, now we have to save the world/universe/sandwich" team. When I read it, I thought she probably had picked the characters I also would have picked, but I guess I should probably think of my own, so here goes.

YES THIS HAS BEEN SITTING ON MY DESKTOP SINCE OCTOBER, BLOW ME. I started a year-end meme I nabbed from [livejournal.com profile] sigrundora, but it turned out to depressing as hell when I started writing, and I'm attempting to begin 2012 as positively as possible, so none of that, only geekery and badass chicks!

Let's be honest, if procrastination could save the world, I would single-handedly make sure it was never in peril. )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
Was going to do a link-spam of every thing I've written this year, but I decided that... No, I won't do that :D

Here's just a quick breakdown:

Total words written+posted: 104,000 (give or take a couple. I tend to round to the nearest 10)
Number of fics posted: 18
Fandoms Represented: 2 (def going to try to write some more next year)
Big Bangs Posted: 4
Total words written+posted for big bangs: 89,900 (I am in loooooove with big bangs. ALL THE BIG BANGS)
Total # of fics written for porn comment memes & # of words: 8&5,550


And though it makes me a little queasy, here's a link to the thing I wrote that I like the best. I wavered; there's 2 that I like, but this one wins on account of banter. Also, it's shorter, so anyone who wants to read it will be tortured a little less.

The Secret Waiter Job, written for AU Big Bang. Leverage Restaurant AU, Eliot/Hardison, warnings for strong language, lots of knives, and spanking. 23k, rated R.

Leverage is the hot, exciting place on the restaurant scene these days, thanks to its hot, exciting executive chef, Eliot Spencer. New hire Alec Hardison is a mild mannered, smooth talking waiter by night and a double-life-living, top secret culinary school student by day. Together, they'll cook up some sizzling dishes... both in and out of the kitchen.


So basically, if it's not a big bang or Porn Battle, I won't write it. >.< Going to expand my ficcing horizons in 2012. More fandoms, more writing for fun and pleasure, more WORDS. Yes, I signed up to "get my words out". We'll see how that goes. :D
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
EVERYONE. [livejournal.com profile] ordinaryink graduated from pastry school!

SO HAVE A MEME.



SERIOUSLY THOUGH, YUM, RIGHT. [livejournal.com profile] inkruns makes yummy banners. Come join us. It's pan-fandom and pan-medium (fic, art, ... other things that people do). And tee-hee for the first food-related icon I found in my list. Flying shrimp, ftw!
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
Okay, I'm not complaining.

Okay, I AM complaining. But just a little, and not in a bitchy way.

WAY DO I ALWAYS HAVE IDEAS. I hate ideas. Ideas are just something awesome that doesn't exist and I'm way too inept to actually make the things I think of. I got to see the art available for claiming for Leverage Reverse Bang today. Thank goodness the one that made me go "OMG I HAVE ALL THE IDEAS" was already gone, or else I'd have to slog through like, 60k worth of yet another off the wall AU idea before I finally broke down into frustration and beat my computer with a wiffle bat.

IT'S OKAY THOUGH, CAUSE I CLAIMED SOMETHING ELSE. But now I'm trapped with the idea for the one I really wanted in my head too. Clearly I can't write it for this challenge, but I still want to write it!

And the other... fifteen AU ideas floating around in my head. I am not lying or blowing up that number. I typed 'em out on my phone while I was waiting for the bus today. I legit have fifteen glory-tier, long-fic type AU ideas I currently want to write.

STOP DOING THINGS WITH MY PERMISSION, BRAIN. DON'T MAKE ME STICK A POPSICLE STICK UP MY NOSE. I'LL DO IT, YOU KNOW I WILL.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
Hey guess what, I hate the new LJ releases re: comments. But I'm guessing y'all already knew that. tbh, I'm still unhappy with the "crosspost to FB and Twitter" options. -.-

I had to deal with a stack of student loans paperwork this morning. Now I am made of grumpy feelings.

OH and if that wasn't enough, I've been having about a solid week of those "I am legitimately the most unattractive beast to have ever clumsily roamed the earth" feelings. Seriously, could I be any more repulsive as a human? But instead of feeling fat and ugly and bloated and like I have bad skin and gross teeth, I now ALSO have a cold sore. Because stress is sexy, don'tcha know.

And I fucking hate the sound of my own voice. More than I hate the new way we're supposed to pick icons for comments now, which is saying a lot.

And I hate my new glasses, too. So much for be stoked for them at the shop. They're awful and I look super dumb.

SELF ESTEEM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR EVERYONE. Clearly I was wrong on that one.

PS, Hobbit trailer blew my mind. Glad my browser doesn't try to correct "hobbit." It knows the score :D
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
I've been thinking about Twitter recently. Anyone who follows me know Twitter is where my brain goes to shout maniacally about things. I have 0 coherency on Twitter. I shout about a lot of fandom stuff and dog rescue stuff and how much longer til I get to leave work.

Which is all well and good.

Except over Thanksgiving my sister gave a bunch of my RL cousins my Twitter handle and they all followed me. Now, none of them use Twitter as often as I do, so I don't think they see all of my tweets, but like...

They could potentially go find them.

Like my massive amount of tweets about gay incest and shark babies and putting my (imaginary) penis in things and drunk Batman and how much fanfiction I actually write and how much I love hairboats.

It's a lot. I really love them. Enthusiastically and unironically.

And like, tonight I was tweeting about sex pollen tarantulas.

Should I be worried that the entire internet, including my very "normal" blood relatives can see me being a dingbat?

Should I be more worried that I am this ding-batty person 24/7 and this is probably not a phase?

Or should I just be worried about these sex pollen tarantulas I've apparently willed in to existence?
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
1. Think of up to 20 ships you support.
2. List them using descriptions of the characters involved rather than their names.
3. Have your f-list guess as many of the ships as they can.
4. Fandom hints will be given if asked in the comments.


1 - The jerk and the bitch.
2 - The goofy ginger sidekick and the vile blond archenemy.
3 - The money-driven, muddy hero and the psychic weapon in a skirt.
4 - The younger sister with the photographic memory and the promiscuous head of a surgery department.
5 - The one who killed the king and the one who was sent after the two daughters.
6 - The ex-insurance agent with hella personal issues and the woman without a name.
7 - The one who might be a plumber and his documentary-making co-host.
8 - The playboy with daddy issues and the news reporter with daddy issues.
9 - The tenth in a long line and the one with the stolen identity.

ngl, even if no one has any ideas, I laughed so hard thinking these up :D
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
Abso-tively the last call for artists at Poly Bang! Art preview posted this afternoon, 44 dynamite summaries waiting for your artistic attentions! Claims go live tomorrow at 6pm EST and trust me, YOU WANT to be a part of it.

I hear the mods are really awesome!

Someone wrote an 8-some! And vikings! And robots! And superheroes, and cupcakes, and doggies, and outer space tentacles, and sex pollen, and what I think is a zombie apocalypse, and some people with super cool names, and a ton of incest, and werewolves, and bondage, and hurt/comfort fic, and getting together and breaking up and pregnancies and coming to terms with who you are and who you love, and pie and demonic possession, and terrorists, and beach volleyball and mutants, and weddings and funerals and like, fifty million other amazing things!

Don't miss out! Sign up now!

(Yes, this will be my last pimping post for Poly Bang. Until posting time comes and I urge you all to read them.)
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
My mother's been texting me all evening, telling me that I am genetically part cat, so I called to tell her to stop harassing me and that cats are terrible. Once she picked up, I could hear my step-dad shouting in the background at the tv, something he only does when they're watching basketball, Dancing With The Stars, or the Westminster Dog Show.

"Sorry mother," I say. "Should I call back when Dancing With The Stars is over?"

"We're just watching the news," she says. "But we're about to turn on Glee."

cut for what I'm assuming are spoilers from last night's Glee? )

I don't watch Glee, and mother knows this, but she calls approximately once a week to tell me what's been happening on Glee (except she doesn't know anyone's name or the names of the songs so it's usually a very strange phone call).

Her: You should watch Glee.
Me: Not really interested.
Her: It's just like real high school.
Me: I... doubt that. And besides, I hated high school when I was in it, why would I want to experience something that is 'just like high school'?
Her: You loved high school. High school was just like Glee for you. You can pick, you're the one in the wheelchair or the black lesbian.
Me: Mother, I'm not going to watch Glee.
Her: This is why you're part cat, always hating everything.

Then she put the dog on the phone so I could talk to him, then she hung up.

WHAT EVEN IS MY MOTHER.

things

Nov. 11th, 2011 10:03 pm
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
It's my birthday in five weeks (well, 5 weeks and 2 days). Weird. It feels like I just had a birthday. I unfortunately will most likely be at work for my birthday this year, not drinking in a hot tub and eating fresh reindeer meat like last year. :|

Nanowrimo progress is plodding lately, as you can see:

16846 / 50000 (33.69%)


Weird plot twist in the Popstar AU I'm working on was very weird, but I am kind of giddy over the overall spin it's put on the plot as a whole. Much, much better. The characters just... work better now.

I will not update you all re: the robot one. It is going... Horrifyingly.

Rex, our bearded dragon, died last week. Here's a picture of him being silly, as was his custom.



Will miss his scaly orange self.

I am working all weekend, and though I would rather stay in bed until my hair has grown out past my feet, I shall head into the retail battle and attempt to make the best of it. My friends are bringing in their golden that I haven't seen since he was 7 weeks (he's like, 16 weeks now). EXCITE.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (cold and there are wolves)
[livejournal.com profile] cherie_morte might hurt me, but here I am, posting during a word battle.

1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment.

2) Ask your flist to post questions in the comments. For example: 'One, nine and fifteen are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from four. Do they succeed?', 'Under what circumstances might five and fourteen fall in love?', 'Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?'

3) After your flist has asked enough questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (it's going to be awesome)
Have you ever been about to kick some zombie ass, then you turn on your portable music playing device and then your headphones are all 'have some Michelle Branch!' or 'wouldn't some Sufjan Stevens soothe you to sleep?' and you're like, NO DAMMIT, there's ass-kickery to be had!

Well now I will try to fix you!



click for track listing and download link )


And this mix comes at a great time too, because it just so happens I posted a story about zombies today.

Title: The Waiting Job
Fandom: Leverage
Pairing: none specifically but hints of Nate/Sophie and Eliot/Hardison/Parker
Rating: 13+
Word Count: ~11,700
Warnings: some violence, some swearing.

Summary: They're out of food, and someone's going to have to go out to get more before they die. They have no choice at this point. Hopefully the zombies will see it that way and not give them a hard time.



If you're interested, you can read it by clicking here and looking intently in the direction of your computer monitor. <3
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (gleeful skimbleshanks)
I'm going to save Defendor until I can actually focus on it. So I'm watching Cats. Because that's somehow similar. Whatever.

Um.

So.

Why do they all hate Grizzabella? I get that they do but... why? Am I missing something? I feel like it would make more sense if I knew why. Anyone? Thoughts? Theories? Some important plot point I have been missing for all these years because I have the attention span of a fork?

EDIT: This guy says it's because she used to be a hooker-cat. idk if I like that answer...

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (age of the geek)
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I rarely answer them, but I always read the writer's block questions.

Now, today's is actually thought provoking. How do I feel about corporeal punishment? After much consideration, I do suppose I'm going to have to side with the Winchesters. Ghosts deserve all the punishment coming to them. Yes, I imagine there are exceptions, but those would be dealt with on a case by case basis.

In other news, I am working on an AU that probably has absolutely nothing to do with [livejournal.com profile] polybigbang, but does have very much to do with super-people. Superheroes and supervillains, I mean. So in the spirit of this, today will involve a superperson triple feature.

X-Men, then Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog and I'll finish with Defendor, which I just picked up yesterday because Woody Harrelson is one of my all time favourites.

Because I fully intend to keep writing until I am finished, I also might watch a few episodes of Battlestar Galatica, because Cavil really reminds me of a supervillain, and then possibly some episodes of Buffy, because I am really stretching my definition of 'superperson' to fit my paltry dvd collection.

If anyone has any superhero/supervillain/super-morally-ambiguous-person advice, now would be a great time to share it :D
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (lucky charms)
- Somehow, I found some old Twinnings tea adverts from like, '07, with Stephen Fry and Aldis Hodge and there was some giggling and hand flailing. McLovin didn't see what was such a big deal.

- Catching up on my terrible guilty pleasure show. Not even going to tell you what it is because it's all mine and I'm not sharing the absolute ridiculousness.

- Got my class schedule this morning. I have 9 classes in first semester. That just seems like a lot, right? It's not all bad. Only 17 hours a week and only 1 class on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. I have some pretty good weekends too. End at 9:30am on Fridays, start at 1:30pm on Mondays. So that's a half decent three-day-and-a-bit-weekend. Do not like 8am classes 4 days a week though.

- Multigrain cheerios are the frickin' best.

- I think I'm going to make a rec list of my favourite stories featuring my favourite thing to read about: banter. Banter rec list? Heck yes. I think it's a good idea. It will make me happy, at any rate.

- Getting curtains and stethoscope next week!
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (yummy kisses)
Yeah, I'm kind of a whore for this stuff. Deal with it.

Five Acts Meme


+ Post a list of your five favorite acts/kinks to read about. At the bottom, add what fandoms/pairings you're interested in.
+ Read other people's lists; the master list of lists is here.
+ Post comment-fic based off of other people's lists.


My List of Acts

i - anything hair related (hair pulling, hair playing, hair washing)
ii - biting
iii - formal wear
iv - weather (rain, snow, wind, storms)
v - oral sex


My List of Fandoms and Pairings

Supernatural -- Sam/Dean, Sam/Castiel, Castiel/Dean/Sam, Gabriel/Sam, Gabriel/Castiel, Sam/Jess, Bela/Dean, Ruby/Jo, Bela/Jo
Leverage -- Parker/Hardison, Hardison/Parker/Eliot, Nate/Sophie
Harry Potter -- Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/George Weasley, Fred Weasley/Barty Crouch, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, Sirius Black/James Potter
RPF -- Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga, Ben Affleck/Michael Cera
Firefly -- Jayne/River, Kaylee/Simon, Inara/Mal
Community -- Abed/Troy, Troy/Annie, Jeff/Britta, Abed/anyone


So... Have at! *makes pretty eyes in exchange for fic*
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (yummy kisses)
So when I'm reading fic, but especially when I am reading a sex scene, the number one thing that ruins it for me is one tiny little typo. There are probably a hundred things that make it awkward for me, but the top of the list thing is seeing the word 'me' in dialogue when the writer meant to write 'my'. It just sounds so ... Scottish? Jamaican? Hilarious?

Writing in any sort of dialect weirds me out. I can usually hear it in my head, I don't need to read it on paper. Especially if the character is not Scottish or Jamaican. It is not sexy for me. It gives me a bad case of the giggles. I know it's a common typo. I do it sometimes. Cue the giggles.

In other 'porn is ruined forever' news, I tried my hand at some things for Porn Battle Ten this past week. I apologize sincerely.

under here for links )

So that's what I've been doing. Still not comfortable writing smut. I feel like a tiny awkward human when I try.

We officially adopted Abby yesterday. She makes a lot of noise by just existing. She's also twice as big as I remember her.

Watched all of the cartoon series 'Archer' with Katie the day before last. It's kind of the most hilarious thing ever. I mean, it's terribly crude and vaguely offensive, but let's be honest, I have bad taste. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (spectaculacular (sam))
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
-- Charles Austin Beard


This is the longest thing I have ever written solo that I wrote for the purpose of actually showing to others. I am terrified of what I have done and I'm not sure if any of it is remotely readable, but I think I am finally done the zombie-Leverage story. I need a good hard edit (oh baby oh), but the first draft is done.

GUYS. WHAT IS THIS. I DON'T EVEN.

It's over 11k. What the hell. Why didn't I put that kind of work into one of my big bangs? Or maybe into doing my laundry?!

I'm so giddy right now, you don't even know. I mean, Sam, you're probably getting ahead of yourself because I don't think it's spectaculacular. I changed tenses so many times I think I invented some new ones! But it's done and I don't fully hate it and that's what I call a moral victory. And yeah, all those poor commas I abused.

For a story that was supposed to be about zombies, there is a hell of a lot of what is calling itself 'emotional character drama'. I call it 'being mean to fictional people because when you're mean to real people they won't do stuff for you anymore'. Whatever. WHATEVER. I'm going to stop talking about it, as my last, what eleven journal entries, have been about this story?




Today, McLovin tried to break out of the house through a second floor window.

I watched The Beast Below and fell in love with the Doctor all over again. Don't get me started on Amy Pond.

Katie and I organized our ride to the rescue tomorrow. I am stupidly excited, we haven't been in 3 weeks because of scheduling suckage. DOGS. Expect rambling on that tomorrow.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (i say so much but nothing at all)
Smoked today out of the water with 1722/1500. Hah! And I only claimed I was going to be a milk vampire once. Brendan, the sweet little dumpling he is, has promised me 1 kidnapping of my choice if I successfully complete my 1500 words a day. That's a pretty sweet deal, guys.

Also managed to get around to posting a bunch of stuff to my writing journal. Going to link it here in case anyone is interested. Most of it's too short to actually be considered fic, but you get the idea.

Supernatural and Leverage fic beyond the jump )

Look Ma! New fandom! I'm branching out! *does tree impression*

It's 4 am and I don't know why I'm awake and [livejournal.com profile] scorpiod01 is making up lies about me and some ducks AND I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS. So that's it for me tonight, intertube. I promise I'll behave better tomorrow.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (red and yellow girl)
I know that this might be a wildly unpopular opinion, but I have been refraining from saying it for so long that I think it's actually caused me physical pain. [livejournal.com profile] bluehippos, I know you're never going to speak to me again for this, but I need to put it out there.

I intensely dislike Wil Wheaton. He drives me up the frickin' wall. He always has.

THERE I SAID IT AND I'M NOT TAKING IT BACK. I feel a lot better now, how about you guys?

Got some awesome postcards in the mail today. They have horses on them. I'm pretty stoked to use them.

Started my story for [livejournal.com profile] spnrarepairs sometime between yesterday and today. It's strange and I'm scared. Someone should hold me. Or agree to beta it for me. Or both. Yeah, probably both. It's like, almost 900 words of O.o

Favourite Doctor Who quote of all time: Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you're busy, in which case, always ignore a coincidence.*

And on that note, did anyone else who watched 5x11 kind of want a Doctor Who/Stonehenge Apocalypse crossover? Anybody? Bueller? Just me and my crazy crossover brain again? Alright then. I'll be over here, plotting and stroking my plotting beard. I can see it already. This would be the cover, with clearly what would be the best title of anything ever (Cover mock-up contains vague spoilers for Who and S.A.). I need to stop thinking of crossovers before I get myself in trouble.

[livejournal.com profile] epiphanyx7 is moving today. Moving far, far away from me. I am sad and also thirsty. It's pretty much the worst mix of feelings ever.



*Gibbs would not approve.

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