unavoidedcrisis: dalmatian resting its head on the arm of a couch (resting dalmatian)
Oh. Hey. My last journal entry was my 1,500th on this LJ. Go me.

Hello everyone. Let's talk about a thing.

So pets die, right? I deal with that a lot on account of I work at a vet clinic. PS, I don't think I'm building up to a certain point, I just need to pour out some words, so. Don't expect some sweeping, majestic summation of human existence at the end here.

There's a lot of different reasons as to why someone would have to get a pet put to sleep (PTS), but if the reason is bogus, my vets will send the person away with a live pet. They don't fuck around and take "well I just don't want it anymore" as an excuse. Reason number five hundred and sixteen that I love my job, right.

The vast, overwhelming majority of pets that are PTS at our clinic are PTS because they are very old and their bodies are shutting down on them. That's... a pretty damn good way to go, it turns out. Better than the ones we see that are young and suddenly horribly ill or injured. We get those sometimes, but it's far less regular.

My first PTS at this clinic (and my first working in the field, not a PTS that was one of my pets) was an old, sick cat who had had a great run and needed a little mercy. I was fine with this. The owner cried a little, thanked us profusely, and left with her equally crying toddler. It happened, I went "aw, that's too bad, poor family," and went about my business.

The second PTS was an ancient sheltie with an equally ancient man for an owner. He'd known this day was coming and was just so... At peace with it. We dragged a chair into the exam room so he could sit with her (we don't have chairs in there normally on account of very small exam rooms) and his adult daughter was with him. She was sobbing, he was just sitting quietly with his hand on the dog's paw. The daughter had to leave the room, asked if I would stand with him. I did, because how do you say no to a sobbing lady and a 5000 year old man who are asking for something so simple? You don't, that's how. I felt sad after this, but the old man hugged and thanked me when we took the dog's body away and I went on with my day.

(The aforementioned old cat's owner came by a few days later with a fruit basket. That happened. Blew my goddamn mind.)

I didn't know either of these families or their pets, this being my 1st/2nd week at the clinic, but I knew their pain and it made me frown and go "awww, bad day for them, I feel empathetic towards this situation, &c." This was also right around the time I had to put Casey to sleep.

We had a couple more, I don't really remember. A relatively young dog with pancreatitis that had been in every day for about 15 in a row for rechecks, fluid therapy, etc. had to be PTS in my first amount of time at the hospital. I knew the owners a little better (really nice old married couple) and I knew the dog. She was a real sweetie. They thanked us too, the whole team, and gave the vet who did the euth a hug and dropped off a card when they came back to pick up the dog's ashes.

But then Nash. Nash was a dog I had never met before who belonged with a family I'd never before. He was old and very sick and he had a peaceful death. And fuck did I ever cry. I got myself together relatively quickly, but in the 10 minutes I was crying, I was fucking sobbing.

There have been about 4 now that have had me in honest to god tears. And a few more past that were I've welled up a little, or had a Dean Winchester style "single manly tear." But I mean, the majority of them are "oh gosh, that poor cat/dog/hamster/family." There's a few more coming up, that we know are on the horizon that I know I'll cry over (including one for Sasha that's going to have me in tears for an hour, I guarantee it. Tonight or tomorrow. Very anxious about going to work soon :/), and a few more that I'll just be thankful have finally happened (again, Sasha. Ugh, poor creature).

On Friday, we had to euth a large Maine Coon (like McLovin and Casey...). The owner was a bedridden 89 year old woman and the cat came in with her daughter and HER daughter (so, daughter and grand-daughter to cat's owner, referred to henceforth as "lady" and "daughter" because I never met the actualfax owner). The cat was sick (suddenly, acutely, in a 8 year old cat, so still relatively young, though maybe closer to geriatric from a Maine Coon stance). Very sick. We did rads and a basic CBC to comfirm. Yes, the cat was very sick, Yes, the best thing we can do for the kitty now is have it PTS. So that's what the lady and her daughter did. They called the owner and she said goodbye over speakerphone in the exam room, then they paid the bill and left. They couldn't stay while it happened.

Some people find it really difficult to stay for any of it, and some people don't even want the pet to be taken to the treatment room to have the catheter put in because any time away from the pet is horrible for them to conceive (putting in an IV cath makes it way easier and less painful to put the euthynol in, less messy, less scary, less stressful. We put a cath in in the back, bring the pet back to the family and the vet gives them however much time they need before coming back in and doing the euth). I'm totally non-judgey of whatever someone chooses to do. I stay through every second of McLovin's euth last April and patted his stupid cat head. I was there for all of Casey's, but I could barely look at him, let alone touch him. Grief does weird things to us, every time.

They left, me and the tech stayed with the cat while the vet put the needle. It was good, tbh, that they left. The cat needed way more of the drug than we thought it would, had to IC after initial sedation. It was pretty bad to watch (but he didn't feel it, don't worry). I cried a little because it made me think of my stupid Maine Coons who decided both to die last year.

I'm covered in cat fur and dried tears now, it's 30 minutes after we close and we've been slammed all day, so I'm sweating like a cow. I've stripped off my scrub top, so I'm in my ratty old kennel tank and am washing blood from a very-enthusiastically-in-heat dog off the walls in the big exam room when someone starts rattling the front door. I am pissed, and exhausted (after being there 30 minutes late on top of my 13 hour shift already and it's been a goddamn long day).

It's the cat's people. The lady and her daughter. They brought us cupcakes.

So. I cried a little over the cat. I fucking sobbed over the cupcakes. Grief does weird things to people.

This has been a lot of thoughts about dead pets. I have to vent them out periodically so I don't explode.

Also, never give your dog his/her medication mixed with chocolate milk, that just makes you a fucking idiot.
unavoidedcrisis: rainbow swoosh with the text "nyarrr" (nyarrr!)
My mother and step father went away for two weeks and I was supposed to dog sit. So I did. But also I work 65-70 hours a week now, so the lady across the road was going to co-dogsit. Nothing intense, just coming over once a day Thursdays-Sundays to let them out for five minutes and then lock the house up. Seriously not hard to do, despite how ridiculous our dogs are.

She shows up on the second day and says no, not only can she not do this anymore, but her and her husband have suddenly decided to go to Mexico for a month, so would I mind watching her dogs.

Um. That is the actual exact opposite of you watching mine, lady.

Plus, yeah, ours are a little hyper? But you have a people-aggressive Staffie and a blind&deaf&can't use his back legs at all 80lb Malamute who also has insulin-dependent diabetes. Your dogs are hella harder to take care of than mine!

Long story short, I'm dogsitting. idek.

Um. What else is happening in my life.

I got stabbed with a needle and some Euthynol. Yes, that does exactly what it sounds like. I'm fine. It was a laugh. Slash I was fucking sick as hell for a few days, but I'm good now.

I accidentally all the Les Miserables feelings I thought I was over. So. That's drastically affecting my quality of life these days. I wrote fic. Yeah, that bad. [livejoural.com profile] cherie_morte has it right now and it preparing to shred it into strips. I'll let you know the progress there.

Almost done (hahah maybe?) my [community profile] apocalypsebang. Needs an ending with a little more horribleness. It's been a pretty flip apocalypse thus far.

I went to the dentist today and apparently now I have to have all four of my wisdom teeth out to prevent all my teeth from exploding at once or something. I was only partially listening. She made it sound scary though.

There goes most of my Wincon money and my tattoo money and my new purse money. I was saving so good, too!

That... is basically it. I'm boring and I have a lot of emotions about dead French revolutionaries and/or Thor's hair.
unavoidedcrisis: rainbow swoosh with the text "nyarrr" (nyarrr!)
Still unemployed! \o/

I guess I'm trying to see if I can make it a year?

Mother says she'll help fund my new laptop as soon as I have some sort of gainful employment. Which, you know, is amazing, because I need a new laptop like burning. But also, sweet fuck, I need a job like burning.

Interview tomorrow at the pet store. Super super super fucking hoping they want me. Even 2 nights a week would be something! I am going to lose my mind if I stay in talking to this pug much longer.

unavoidedcrisis: rainbow swoosh with the text "nyarrr" (nyarrr!)
Went to the doctor today because of this persistent douchebag of a cough. It's bronchitis + sinus infection, yaaaaay.

But we were talking about my chest (the inner parts, not the pretty booby parts). Apparently my ongoing problems breathing could have something to do with allergies.

Him: Do you ever have exposure to cats or dogs?
Me: ........................................................................................................ Yep. Both.
Him: Maybe you could go a week without handling them, see how your breathing is from there?
Me: Ummmmmm. Probably not.
Him: Are they non-shedding at least?
Me: Fallacy, there is not such thing as a cat or dog that does not shed at all. All of them shed a little. Even the hairless ones lose the few hairs they do have periodically. Also, they get zits you have to pop. On their butts. Is that really an attractive alternative, people?
Him: *stares blankly*
Me: *stares blankly*
Him: *stares blankly*
Me: But, no, really, I'm not getting away from the pets any time soon.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
Sekrit Santa Love Me Times

So I'm officially not getting time off to see my family for Christmas. I'm also working on my birthday. And every other single day between 24 November and 22 December (probably more; the schedule only goes til the 22nd).

Ugh entirely.

Someone brought the cutest Australian shepherd into meet me today. It made me feel a little better.

In hilarious lizard news, my lizards are hilarious. Pepperoni is the world's worst hunter ever. Period. He's still my favourite though.

Here's a video of Gallifrey shedding. Ignore photo-bombing Kiki and my ridiculous laughter.

She's pretty cool. She even lets me pick her up now with minimal biting.

At least I have my pets. ~sigh~
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
I had my semester one practical today and it went okay! The teacher was pretty impressed with his head, but of course, I was less than pleased. I can never seem to see the good in my own work (SHOCK, RIGHT).

Photos of Today's Exam )


Nov. 11th, 2011 10:03 pm
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)
It's my birthday in five weeks (well, 5 weeks and 2 days). Weird. It feels like I just had a birthday. I unfortunately will most likely be at work for my birthday this year, not drinking in a hot tub and eating fresh reindeer meat like last year. :|

Nanowrimo progress is plodding lately, as you can see:

16846 / 50000 (33.69%)

Weird plot twist in the Popstar AU I'm working on was very weird, but I am kind of giddy over the overall spin it's put on the plot as a whole. Much, much better. The characters just... work better now.

I will not update you all re: the robot one. It is going... Horrifyingly.

Rex, our bearded dragon, died last week. Here's a picture of him being silly, as was his custom.

Will miss his scaly orange self.

I am working all weekend, and though I would rather stay in bed until my hair has grown out past my feet, I shall head into the retail battle and attempt to make the best of it. My friends are bringing in their golden that I haven't seen since he was 7 weeks (he's like, 16 weeks now). EXCITE.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (sleepy dog)
Attention all my animal loving pals!

It's fund-raising time at the pet rescue again and this year we're selling some pretty awesome All Heart tee shirts, 2011 calendars and handmade paper greeting cards.

If you're at all interested in supporting an amazing cause that is in need of some help right now, either for yourself or for someone you know who is a big animal lover, please let me know.

If you want anything at all, I'm willing to pay for the shipping. Drop me a line here and we'll set something up.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (puppy paws)
Some of my new friends from school )

Most of these pictures were taken while the power was out, and on my Blackberry, so they're all... not great pictures. Sorry dudes.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (very stressful day (chuck))
I'm writing for [livejournal.com profile] polybigbang, which is a little odd, because out of the eight or ten big bangs I flirted with, Polly seemed the least interested in flirting back (in the form of giving me ideas). The deadline for first drafts was approaching at light speed and I still had zilch written.

Then, out of the blue, the superhero idea came to me.

It was a quiet idea, very sombre and a little unsure of itself. 'Come in, dear,' I said, welcoming it in out of the cold, thinking that with a little TLC, maybe it would be okay after all. The cold, scary outside world had left it shell-shocked.

Well. Either it was all an act to get inside my head or my TLC is extra potent and awesome, because the idea flourished.

It's not quiet or sombre now, though, it's loud and obnoxious and so, so, so... We'll call it 'Theatre of the Absurd.' My favourite character is the dog, who doesn't talk, but usually gets his point across, so that should give you an idea.

The 'poly' aspect of the poly big bang has only just begun to be hinted at (final, polished drafts are due 3 November, posting begins a week after). The main character is a side character now, a little one-dimensional now -- but I like her better like that. It's all got a weirdly comic book feel to it. I guess that wouldn't be so weird if the superhero part of the superhero story actually existed. The main character type guy is not actually super, he's just a vigilante. Also, it's mostly just a romance. Only without the romance.

So this tiny little frightened idea about superheroes that promised to be very super srs bsnss and about 12,000 words is not even finsihed and hovering just past 36,000 words. Also, it's a little crazy. And doesn't have any superheroes in it.

So my big question here is... How?

Is it my lack of planning these things out that makes this idea unrecognizable? Is it the fact that I ramble almost constantly in real life and so that's spilling over into my writing? If I'm writing and not even hating what I'm producing, I can't be doing it wrong, can I? (I guess that depends on if anyone else likes it, hmm?)

And should I be alarmed that the dog is the easiest character to write about? I shouldn't identify so strongly with the dog who has little dog ADD (I swear, they all have it), should I? Maybe that's why I'm doing well in this school program, who knows...
It's like... I know I have friends out there that are prepping for Nanowrimo in the most incredible detail. Maps and lists and desks of post it notes and writer-pipes galore.

I'm not even sure if I'll be writing anything at all for Nano yet, let alone what it might be. I mean, I switched novels three times last year. During Movember, even! What I wrote ended up being crap. My favourite scene was the one with the dead penguins. How is that something I should be able to say?

Anyways, see, this is the rambling I mean. My poly big bang does this every few paragraphs. Eep.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (sleepy dog)
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Could Never Take the Place of Your Man, by Prince. I just... I don't even know.

I was singing it today in Clinical while administering oral meds to my dog Lucy. I kept telling her she had some 'splainin' to do but I don't think she got it. Then I would start singing Prince again. I think she wanted me to shut up and give her more delicious pills (instead of just loading all our dogs up with various medicines, we were pilling them with dry kibble and water for the liquid syringes). I'm going to try and bring y'all a picture of Lucy tomorrow because she's one of my favourites and she's adoooorable.

Tonight, I have a bottle of wine called 'Relax' and it's fricking delicious. Except that I may have frozen it a little and now I have to wait for it to thaw out before I can have a second glass. OH THE HUMANITY.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (a big deal (castiel))
Reasons Life Is Not Awesome
- I did my math placement for the upgrading course I need to get into the 3 year wildlife program after my 1 year assistant program today. My math skills are somewhere between and grade four and five level! Fuck you, fractions, I was a merit scholar. You're making me look bad by being stupidly hard to add (but I know how to multiply you, so don't even pull that shit with me).

- I did not finish my [livejournal.com profile] polybigbang story like I wanted to.

- My apartment is messy and I need to clean it tonight.

- Lost my mp3 player.

- I had to put my arm in a tank full of sharks yesterday.

- Kennel duty Wednesday/Thursday.

Reasons Life Is Awesome
- I have people to help me with stupid math. People who want to help me, even. Not just people I have seduced/blackmailed.

- French toast and all its related deliciousness and adorable-ness.

- I was not murdered by sharks.

- While I didn't finish the story, I DID FINISH MY DRAFT FOR THE BIG BANG AND I'M GOING TO GET ART AND IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME AND THREE PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY AGREED TO BETA IT AND I TOLD THEM NO BACKSIES (this is not like an engagement, Katie, I can call 'no backsies'). And I have the rest of the story outlined too, so it's just a matter of filling in blanks.

- Aced a test in Clin. today.

- Have grand and lovely plans to learn how to clicker train dogs. So. Exciting! Step one: buy clicker from work.

- Kennel duty Wednesday/Thursday.

KD is both not awesome and definitely awesome because while I am super stoked for being there and getting marked on my basic animal care, I am so not stoked for being up at 5 to do it. My Wednesday this week involves me being at the school from 5:30am to 9pm pretty much without a break. And then I'm up again at 5 on Thursday (though I should be home by noon and then I can sleep for 6 hours). So if I'm not around much this week it's because I'm there.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (spannerin' time (doctor))
I got some superglue on my fingers and it feels super weird. Like. Crunchy. My fingers should not be crunchy.

Last week one of the roommates had a friend over. Tonight, the other roommate has a friend over. My sister says I have no friends because none of my friends ever come over. I think she phoned specifically to tell me this. What a loving family.

Today was the dog walkathon, aka rainathon. I need to stop doing charity walking on days when we're having a downpour. We raised over five hundred bucks though. Katie and I didn't actually bring either of our dogs because to get to the place where the walk was hosted, it was going to be at least an hour and half walk (plus the hour and half walk for the walkathon, plus the hour and half walk back). We opted to bus instead. There were plenty of dogs there and the rescue still got our money. Everyone wins.

We stopped at the farmer's market on the way home and I ate some carrot and pretended I was a snowman. Shut up, I'm totally classy.

I move one week from today. AH PANIC.

Katie broke the shower and the superglue didn't work (augh, now it's on my fingers for no reason) so we "fixed" it with a wrench we liberated from Janis. Everyone wins!

I've also started saying 'everyone wins!' a lot.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (tree frog)
Desktop Background Meme/Photo )

Abby is the least helpful shadow I've ever had, especially when it comes to walking up or down the stairs or trying to catch frogs.

It's been raining off and on here for the last few nights. I go out around eleven-midnight and walk around the suburbs, finding frogs that have come out in the rain and relocating them away from the rich people's swimming pools and towards the swampy bits of land that are mostly chlorine-free. So. I guess I have a new hobby? That's only a little weird, right?

Last night I had Abby with me and her sole aim in life was to eat as many frogs as I picked up. She didn't actually ingest any; all frogs safely accounted for and stolen away from the swimming pools. Let's chalk this one up as a win.

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (i'll man the flashlight (dean))

This is best thing of my life right now. I want Chad to win it all. I think he's got the chops. That Voldemort fellow might give him some trouble, but if anyone can beat him, it's not some skinny wizard kid, it's CMM. Believe it.

Someone up the street started setting off fireworks while I was out with Abby. She did not like that. We ran the rest of the way home. Way too much excitement for one dog though, because she's acting like an unconscious backrest right now.

Idiot beardie fell asleep with his face smushed into the glass.

Pets are ridiculous, end of story.

New roommate started moving her things in today. She seems nice. But, I mean, she's not Katie and I won't be able to walk around in my panties or shower with the door open and so she's starting with forty points against her. I'm sure we'll get along fine for the next four weeks until my only roommate is that spiteful cat.

Tomorrow is the grand and great day of writing, for which I am very excited. I'll be on AIM for a good chunk of the day, so hit me up if you're looking for word wars (you should be able to figure out my username).

Love y'all.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (cuddly tigers)
Long and involved day at the rescue Sunday. Abby is still there being ridiculous and giant, we got a few more dogs from Mile 26, got a nasty bruise from an over-eager collie, watched Katie put peroxide on a cat (helped a little). I did about ten thousand other things I don't really remember because we were there for 9 hours and it was easily my most productive day at the rescue since Kathy still had the cat room. I used to get shit done in the cat room. Word.

Hung out with Bean today and drank some wine and watched some NCIS. I also started on a ficlet for schmoop bingo... Don't judge me. Just stop right there.

Anyways, I lined up my cards for schmoop bingo and kink bingo and thought 'heh! wouldn't it be funny if I like, did them together? Every fic I write can have the two prompts in one story?' After much giggling and talk of a greeting card that would have to be on fire, Bean and I decided that was probably not the best route. So I'm writing my first ever Doctor Who based fanfic for schmoop bingo (no flaming cards in this one, I mostly promise). She also had to explain what a wedding shower was. Apparently it was not what I was thinking.

I have major stuff to get done tomorrow -- paying rent, buying crickets, being awesome. I don't know how I'll fit it all in.


Katie cut my hair tonight. I am holding off on freaking the hell out, though I suspect it is coming. She only took about an inch and half, maybe two inches of length off, but she like... layered it? And thinned it out. I don't know. She worked voodoo magic on my head. So. Lost two inches, but still somehow lost eight pounds of hair. SRSLY. It looked like a monster tribble or something. The conversation was a little... funny, I suppose.

Leen: You know how sometimes there's an actress or a character on tv and you want your hair to look like that so you tell the stylist or show them a picture so they know what you have in mind?
Katie: Yeah, sure. What did you have in mind?
Leen: Okay, but you can't judge me.
Katie: Okay.
Leen: ... But you can't judge me.
Katie: Alright! Just tell me what you were thinking.
Leen: Like Eliot's hair in the first episode of Leverage. I can find a picture.
Katie: Okay, sure, we can do that.
[four minutes later]
Katie: Wait, you mean Parker, right?
Leen: ... No.
Katie: Yeah, okay, I am judging you a little.


It's funny, me freaking out about it being short. I wore my hair less than 2 inches long for almost 4 years. This should not be panicking me. I guess it's just because I was finally getting used to the long hair? My brain is a complex little machine, guys.

(I actually have a tag for hair. Wuuuut.)

unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (gen -> listen with your heart whale)
Yanked from [livejournal.com profile] scorpiod01 because come on, when was the last time I did a meme like this?

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. Skip the instrumental-only pieces (non-English too if you want).
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and title correctly. (If it's a cover, the original artist is okay, and vice-versa.)
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like this game, post your own!

01 - I'm a country girl, I ain't seen a lot
02 - Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin' waves Seven Deadly Sins by Flogging Molly (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] amdragonfly123)
03 - By a lonely prison wall I hear a young girl calling
04 - Mama who bore me, mama who gave me no way to handle things Mama Who Bore Me from Spring Awakening (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] cherie_morte)
05 - Oh Cedric why'd you go into that maze?
06 - The politics of nations got me down
07 - Turn on the tv, more crime in the streets
08 - Oh there were twelve witches bold
09 - Connie came back for her second cousin's wedding
10 - Come over the hills my bonnie Irish lad
11 - I won't shiver in the cold
12 - Where do you go with your broken heart in tow? Where Does The Good Go? by Teagan & Sara (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] scorpiod01)
13 - Now I've got arms
14 - Here she comes in her palanquin
15 - All you found is another back door
16 - Alright, now dig this baby
17 - Because because I'm weary of this melody
18 - It's been getting so hard living with the things you do to me
19 - There's a Spanish train that runs between Guadalquivir and Old Seville Spanish Train by Chris DeBurgh (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] kaylbunny)
20 - That certain night, the night we met
21 - Stop the clock, take time out
22 - I met before the fall of Rome It's All Been Done by the Barenaked Ladies(guessed by [livejournal.com profile] sleepwalker1015)
23 - Your beautiful eyes stare right into my eyes
24 - Shout it from the mountain tops
25 - You say you want a revolution Revolution by The Beatles (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] oywidapoodles)
26 - You're unavoidable, simply irresistible
27 - When you first left me, I was wanting more Smile by Lily Allen (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] lavendergaia)
28 - I sit around and watch the tube Longview by Green Day (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] oywidapoodles)
29 - We skipped the light fandango Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum (guessed by [livejournal.com profile] kaylbunny)
30 - I've got something against you

Yeah, folk music and early 90's pop make the majority of my playlists. Do you wanna fight about it?

Abby fell asleep with Quail in her mouth and she won't let me take him back.
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (wtf -> today today?)

No, wait, that was Jonathan Swift's Modest Proposal.

Leen's Proposal is as follows.

Every single person reading this right now has hurt someone. Probably recently and probably someone you care about. Through words you spoke or words you thought or something you wrote down, through your action or maybe your inaction, or maybe just by not taking the time to say 'hey, I'm glad I've got you.' Maybe you were having a bad day, or maybe someone just said something that caused you to snap at them, or maybe you weren't even thinking about it. But I can pretty much guarantee someone got hurt in the process. I bet if you think, you can think of the person who hurt you.

Having said that, I encourage you all to think about those who you might have hurt or angered or made to feel less than they ought, and I urge you to apologize. Alternately, go find that person who made you feel crappy recently and tell them it's okay and you forgive them. Just a big, sincere, heartfelt, cozy blanket of apology.

"I am sorry for anything that I said or didn't say, and anything I did or didn't do, because you're my friend and it would break my heart to know I've done you wrong. "


"I don't want to get into why or how or what for, but you really made me feel bad last night/on Tuesday/that one time, but I want you to know I'm going to let go of it and just think of all the reasons you're one of my awesome friends instead, so let's go get an iced mocha instead."

Something like that, I'm sure you all know what I mean.

And I get that it's kind of painfully ironic to see this coming from me, the girl who can hold grudges like an Olympic sport and say unthinking, hurtful things 81% of the time, but I don't know, maybe I'm growing. Life's too short to stay upset with the people that matter in your life.


This looks like way too much crack fun.



In other news, I honestly don't think I've slept as well as I have in the last few days in a very long time. I blame/credit the puppy for this, as her 4+ walks a day are exhausting me. It would be perfect if my arms weren't killing me from the combination sunburn/dog trying to pull them off. And on that note, it's time to take Abby out again!

(I love how my moodtheme picture for 'awake' has a cat sitting on the person. You go Hasley, you totally know what it means to own animals. Also, I just realized when I redesigned my profile I forgot to credit the faboo moodtheme from [livejournal.com profile] frostianmoods. Fixing now!)
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (tree frog)
For all I give the little jerk a hard time, I kind of love my cat.

McLovin has a seriously hard time with change. Any change at all. Like the time I got a new bed. He refused to come into my bedroom for about three days. Then there was the time we moved his food dish four feet from the top of the dresser to the bathroom counter. I firmly believe the only reason he finally got used to that one was because he was that hungry.

He had a really bad run in with the neighbour's cat one day last fall. Monty, the cat is called, got into our living room through the patio doors and terrorized our poor McLovin (who is half the strange cat's size) by swatting at him and chasing him up the stairs. From that day, McL has been beyond terrified of other cats. Whenever Monty comes to window, McL hides upstairs. When McL accidentally sees his reflection in the mirror, he hides for hours, mewling and hating his life.

McL needs to be a more social animal. I'm an animal lover and I do intend to have dogs one day. Maybe not another cat because McLovin is so absolutely dead set against it, but absolutely I want dogs. And cats can live 18 or so years, so I foresee McLovin having to deal with a lot of dogs. Pixie is one thing because Pixie was already here when McLovin moved in, so she's not something that has ever changed for him. And they do get along sometimes, in all honesty. Usually when they're both sleepy enough that they don't think to fight, but they can co-exist. Normally they start getting growly with each other because Pixie does not like getting rowdy and McL just wants to play.

So last night we brought home Abby. Now before we brought her, we cat-tested her with the cat at the rescue, Ping Pong. Abby sniffed him, licked his fur and then wanted to play. Ping Pong, of course, is too cool to play with puppies, but it gave us a good idea what she was going to be like. She wanted to play! McLovin loves to play! Especially if it involves running up and down the stairs to fetch things or bartering weapons with homegrown terrorist cells. He's that kind of cat.

We expected some problems because of McLovin's hatred of change, but we are going with 'they probably be good friends when he mans up and gives her a chance.'

It's been less than 24 hours and he's already doing awesome with her. The beginning last night was rough. He hid behind the blinds on my windowsill and cried out to the neighbours through the screen. Later in the evening, we took Abby and Pix to the store and back and when we got him, McLovin came downstairs and watched us and hissed a little from the table by the door. He didn't come closer, but he wasn't hiding!

He got close a few times to sniff her, and she was really good about being gentle and not putting her face too close. She's still a puppy, right, so she only ever wants to play, not to hurt. McLovin actually let her sniff him, but the second she tried to get closer, he runs.

Today, we made real progress. He sat with me and the dogs on the couch for over an hour and only hissed once when Abby got up to turn around and put her giant head onto my laptop keyboard. The keyboard, of course, gets nice and warm and is therefore McLovin's favourite place to put his cold paws, so he felt she was in his zone. So, in a few days, hopefully he and Abby will be playing and not being weird and anti-social.

Pictures of the foster dog, Abby )
unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (lip wobble (george))

Saturday was the nationwide Rally Day we held in celebration of 100 years of Guiding in Canada. On the bus by 7am with almost 200 girls from North Bay, we headed to Sudbury where we met up with 400-500+ girls and spent the day learning, creating, running, jumping, shouting, singing, talking and getting rained on. Luckily the rain cleared up. Unluckily, the shouting did not. I am definitely feeling the burn today. Fifteen hours is a very long day to spend with that many young girls and even though I was only personally responsible for 7, I do very much think they were a very rambunctious 7.

We had tons of fun though, despite a few instances when I had to snap at them. I am so glad I got to be a part of that. It's nice to feel like a part of something.

We got home around 9 and I was passed out by 9:45 and slept pretty much right through until 9 this morning. It did not feel like enough sleep.

Today, Sparky, Katie and I went to the dog rescue. As per usual, there were a whole bunch of dogs. The love of my life, Sandy, is still there and was in an absolutely foul mood and refused to cuddle me at all. Hear that? That is my heart and soul breaking into tiny pieces. Seriously. Next week, I will win his love.

That's if we go next week, I mean, because this week we did something a little different. We signed up to be foster parents. So we brought home Abby today. She's about 6-7 months old, Dane x Lab cross and she is very quickly learning her name and 'sit' and 'down'. She's even working on 'come' and 'off.' I'm very impressed with her smarts. Mostly though, I am impressed with her giant frickin' paws. Seriously, like dinner plates. She's going to be a huge freaking dog. According to the plan, she'll be with us for 2 weeks and hopefully will learn all her manners by then so she'll find her forever home. Pixie is doing really good with Abby, which is good because we weren't sure how she was going to react. McLovin, of course, is suffering like a mad thing because HOMG DOG.

After Abby, I am going to convince (blackmail? threats of violence?) Katie that we need to foster Sandy and heal his broken heart.

Sandy - my one true (dog) love )

In short, AHHH TIRED. And AHH SUN BURN. On my arms and the back of my neck and my poor, unfortunate lips.

And then after dinner (aka: just now) I signed up for [livejournal.com profile] rpf_big_bang and [livejournal.com profile] deancasbigbang. So. Um. AUGH. As if November wasn't already close enough to be breathing down my neck. Wish me luck as I embark on two challenges that involve two things I've never attempted to write before.

I feel like I need to validate my choice. I know in the past I've been all 'pssh, Dean/Castiel as a romantic pairing, dnw.' And to be very honest, I still pretty much feel this way. The story I plan to write does not change it. It does not make me a hypocrite, it makes me a more mature, accepting person who is expanding her horizons. Also, I'm psyched for the plot. Okay, that sounded desperate. Whatever. It's cool, I'll do what I want.


unavoidedcrisis: girl lying on the ground with playing cards scattered over her (Default)

December 2013

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